Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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I CAN HAZ CROISSANTZ?

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Anal Positive Message Vibrating Morse Code Device

"Bob's doing that thing where he looks distracted again."
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There was a story about a chess champion was accused of using vibrating anal beads to cheat. I didn't open the article but I assumed they were sending him some kind of message. Message with an e. So thinking this was easily among the funniest anal beads communication stories I've heard all week, I thought: "Hey, why not take this story, add some stupid premise and put it up in the Halfbakery?" So here it is.

Feeling down? Not with the "Good Vibes Positive Message Massager". After learning Morse code with the enclosed instructions, you'll discretely receive random positive affirmations throughout the day without anybody else knowing.

At a business meeting: "You're doing great Bob!"

Going on a date: "I think she likes you!"

In a job interview: "You're good enough, smart enough and gosh darn it, people like you!"

The good vibes positive message massager. Like having a gardian angel whispering in your ear, only.. well, not in your ear exactly.

By Remucon

doctorremulac3, Nov 04 2024

Here's the story in case you missed it. https://www.theguar...h%20Piers%20Morgan.
And if you did, good for you. [doctorremulac3, Nov 05 2024]

[link]






       Is it bad that I understood the reference from the title alone?
21 Quest, Nov 04 2024
  

       Yes.   

       But not as bad as me reading the headline of that story and thinking it's the funniest thing I've ever heard. I have the sense of humor of a ten year old.   

       I think farts are funny.
doctorremulac3, Nov 04 2024
  

       Um... baked?   

       I’ve been called an asshole but my asshole never called me. Enough is enough, don’t you think?
minoradjustments, Nov 05 2024
  

       // good vibes // indeed!
whatrock, Nov 06 2024
  
      
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