h a l f b a k e r yI CAN HAZ CROISSANTZ?
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Airport terminals have a captive audience. Strangely,
they still rank among the most mind-numbing places on
earth to spend any time, despite a few overpriced
restaurants, lousy novels, and a magazine rack or two.
I have become convinced that airports exist in an
alternate reality bubble in
which time does not move at a
normal pace, and that if I were to crawl through one of
those mystery miniature doors at the gates I would end
up in some alternate dimension.
What we need is not some corner TV with talking heads
on CNN yapping about orphans or the Catholic church,
what we need is a layover movie theatre, with a ticket
counter who will scan your ticket to see if you have time
to catch the next flick before entry is permitted.
Frequent showings of 'Airplane!', 'Die Hard II,' 'Flight of
the Phoenix,' 'Zero Hour' 'Passenger 57,' and 'Snakes on a
Plane' strongly encouraged.
" become convinced that airports exist in an alternate reality bubble "
http://www.fantasti...changing-planes.htm
you're not the first to go there... [normzone, Apr 13 2010]
The Langoliers
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112040/
How bad could it be ... ? [8th of 7, Apr 13 2010]
Yotel!
http://www.yotel.com/
Small, Japanese-style bunks, with TV & shower. Rented by the hour (minumum 4hrs). [Jinbish, Apr 13 2010]
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I'd rather save my movie for when I'm on the plane, otherwise I'll be tired of movies before I even board. |
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Miniature golf courses in airports, OTOH... that could work. |
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Isn't this the type of thing that exists in the first class waiting rooms? The fabled VIP rooms...? |
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Oddly, I was thinking about mini-golf as well, but was
rather worried about the weaponization capability of
flying golf balls and clubs. |
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// alternate reality bubble in which time does not move at a normal pace // |
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I don't think that people who run airports see them in the same light as passengers do. Luton airport for instance had only about five power sockets available for charging laptops, despite carrying several hundred thousand business travellers every year. When the airport finally noticed the demand for those valuable sources of power and the seats near them, they modified them so that they were no longer useable. There are now none. |
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Your idea is an excellent one, but I'm fairly convinced that a systemic change is needed before beneficial ideas are welcome in airports. Possibly some sort of Japanese-style management change involving swords. |
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// people who run airports // |
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Actually, all your airports are run by the Ferengi, who are only interested in earning profit... hence the high prices and the less-than-user-friendly atmosphere. |
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A Ferengi once tried to sell me some duff corn. I said "What's this ear 'ere?!" |
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//Actually, all your airports are run by the Ferengi// |
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Now a lot of things are starting to make sense. |
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Yes, movie theaters would take up valuable space that could
be taken up by chairs that are impossible to lie down in and
nearly impossible to sit in. I was never pissed about this
before, but now I am. |
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I would settle for one of those Japanese-style tube hotel
rooms with a little TV and pay-per-view. |
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// I would settle for one of those Japanese-style tube hotel rooms with a little TV and pay-per-view.// |
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Then you'd be "happy" at Amsterdam Schipol (and a few others), where you could check in to Yotel! For 40 euro you can get 4hrs sleep... |
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(After a 12hr journey from Alaska with no sleep, and a 9hr stopover until my flight to the UK, I stayed in a Yotel. Possibly the best 40E I've ever spent.) |
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Singapore airport has (or had, when I had a 5 hour stop there some years ago) a free cinema for transit passengers. |
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If your boarding pass is scanned on entry to the movie, and you take an assigned seat, when your time up and you have to leave to catch your flight, a precise automatic narrow-angle spot light will turn to your seat and flash few times in your face and will continue to do that until you scan your boarding pass when leaving the theatre. At this point the system already knows what film you were watching and at what point you stoppped watching. If the ground system can send the info to the plane in some way, when you take your seat on the plane and put the movie channel on, you'll be prompted with the same film and continuing from the same point where you stopped watching on the ground.
Alternatively, just your iPod and watch while in the queue. |
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Unfortunately too many people would miss their planes, whether they were enriched with snakes or not ... |
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I like [hamadeh]'s idea, too. + |
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