h a l f b a k e r yYou think: Aha! We go: ha, ha.
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Seeing as the North Koreans are going to put their clocks 30 minutes forward, we should bring forwards our own time.
Otherwise they get another 30 minutes prepping the missiles before it turns up on satellite surveillance.
Well, it was this or the gonflable cheese idea.
[link]
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Maybe move 34 minutes forward, to allow for the Four Minute Warning ? |
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"And so, from this small provocation, the great Time Wars began ..." |
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You fools! If we set our clocks back by 23.5 hours, we'll be
able to sneak up on the North Koreans from behind! |
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"Hmmm ... I think what we've got here, Moriarty, is what's known as a "Clever One". Pass me my oiled leather conk-bludgeon ..." |
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//the great Time Wars began |
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(wonders if Ikea have a flat-pack Tardis..) |
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// Ikea have a flat-pack Tardis // |
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Indeed they do; it folds down into just four dimensions. Very impressive. |
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Be careful how you dispose of the packaging, though, as you can cause an interdimensional rift if you fold it the wrong way. |
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Assembly is the usual baffling process involving incomprehensible and badly-labelled diagrams, but employing a Sonic Screwdriver in place of the usual hexagonal mini-wrench ... |
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// I vote that the UK redefines its own idea of what constitutes a second// - I think we should go beyond that. In the spirit of the current global mood of "the people have had enough of experts", why should people be dictated to by these
so-called 'Standards Bodies' and 'Scientists' about how long a second is? A second or a minute or an hour should be as long as anyone wants it to be, as their mood changes throughout the day. The minor inconvenience of two people having different understandings of what "See you in five minutes" means will be more than offset by the joy and personal freedom of no longer being dictated to by
self-appointed experts. Take back control! Make time great again! |
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I once actually implemented that idea, turned up to pick a
mate up for the pub two days late with nothing more than a
"so you ready then?" > To which he replied "You said Tuesday
evening. > To which I replied "No, I said 'this' evening". > To
which he
said "That was two days ago". > To which I said "So, it's still
'this
evening' now isn't it?" at which impeccable logic he gave up
&
we went to the pub. |
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The girls we were meant to meet
weren't so amenable to my interpretation of 'this evening'
however. |
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Recent observation indicates that if you record the time shown by a UK clock and then check it again half an hour later, the time shown will have moved on thirty minutes. |
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So it looks like this idea has aready been implemented, and is therefore redundant. |
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That's amazing! - you have solved the problem of time travel, and have the ability to travel into the future at will |
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Not just the future; for the price of an off-peak return ticket to anywhere in East Anglia, you can travel back to the 1950's with ease. |
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Not in East Anglia, no; hence the necessity of a return ticket. |
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Enough East Anglia-bashing, [8th]. We've got electric lights
AND a Marks and Spencer. With a food hall. |
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Hmm, there is a model of a purely British time scheme,
from the old money system. |
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"12 pence in a shilling and 20 shillings, or 240 pence, in a
pound." |
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So (breaks out the extra-large brain) each British second
could be 15 metric seconds, 12 of British minutes would
be = 180 seconds, 20 of them = 1 British hour (3600
seconds). Probably. |
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Would also help to reduce stress in the workplace, as you
could say "gimme a second" and have longer to do the
[whatever] task. |
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You guys have always been so mean about your time. |
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Not quite sure what the category is supposed to
indicate here. |
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