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Accident Wine
"...a heady bouquet, with hints of aubergine, walrus and fatal industrial accident." | |
A highly alchoholic beverage that can be consumed immediately prior to having an accident.
This allows onlookers to believe that you are simply a harmless drunk, rather than a clumsy idiot.
Topless Church
Topless_20Church
Egged on by [wagster] among others. [zen_tom, Jul 19 2005]
Buckfast Tonic Wine
http://en.wikipedia...Buckfast_Tonic_Wine
"Its high strength (15% alcohol by volume) combined with its low price and sweetness mean that many find Buckfast to be the ideal means by which to become drunk as quickly and cheaply as possible." [calum, Jul 20 2005]
Wine Accidents
http://fora.erobert...ic;f=1;t=061252;p=0
A thread relating numerous wine-related mishap anecdotes. [zen_tom, Jul 20 2005]
More Buckfast!
http://www.bumwine.com/others.html
and a collection of other fine wines [Azazello, Sep 05 2006]
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Annotation:
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Ah ha! here it is! Accident Wine! Where's the Slut Shelves??? |
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I kinda thought it'd be something that looked like wine that you'd spill onto people in those fake accident happenings at some party or gathering, trying to get a foot in the door: "oh, so sorry, please excuse me... wait, don't I know you?". See, the accident wine would wash right out, making for lighthearted mood and equally jovial followup talk with the new flame. |
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//immediately prior to having an accident// |
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I'm just a bit confused about how you would know you were about to have an accident. I'd rather try and prevent it if I knew. |
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Although I suppose there are times you know something is about to happen, in which case this wine would be indispensible. |
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How highly alcoholic would it have to be to make you drunk very quickly anyway? |
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Perhaps accident wine could be a less viscous version of regular wine. Special wine glasses are sold as well, with a vertical hole in the stem too small for regular wine to pour through. Tell anyone at your party not to drink the "good wine", and when someone does it pours all over them and (to their embarrassment) your new white carpet. Of course, accident wine turns from red to clear within an hour. |
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Fantastic! I'm looking forward to "Captain Jihad" :-) |
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Just repair to a bar. Drunk or stupid, you'll end up with the same charges here. |
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No ociffer! I had the drink after the crash so I didididn't look silly... |
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/A highly alchoholic beverage that can be consumed immediately prior to having an accident./ |
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I have found that multiple beers followed by uproarious laughter is more likely to make you have an accident. |
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Useful when you're just about to put up slut shelves. I know I felt silly when I hurt myself trying to assemble my flatpack whore wardrobe. |
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Still waiting for 'Pimp My Mum'... Joking. |
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Some homeopathic remedy vendors carry Accident Pills. "For when you've just had an accident, or think you're about to have one." There should be a market then for this liquid variant. Precognitant bun for you. |
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I wonder if this Accident Wine would in fact be the cause of most of these accidents. Also, I'd probably rather be thought of as a clumsy person than a drunk. |
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wasx going tro falll dwonstars lik a idiiot jusnow til i rememembeetrd acidnet wiin.. nowe i wuil fell doown lik a derunk. thnaks ]zen+tom] |
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<thump... thump... thump... thump...> |
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The product line linked could be rebranded and sold as "Accident Wine" without altering the recipie one jot. The correlation between the drinking of Buckfast and the occurence of acts of violence, random criminality and recklessness should not be taken as causation, but it does make for a neat marketing tie-in. |
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Perhaps you could choose your UDIs (unidentified drunken injuries) so you could get symettrical bruising and such like... [+] |
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