h a l f b a k e r ynon-lame halfbakery tagline
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The Pacific ocean. The Atlantic ocean. The Indian ocean. The Arctic ocean ... and on and on.
Thing is, they're all linked together, even the Mediterranean sea and the Black sea. You can go by boat from one to another without ever getting your feet dry.
They're all the same.
So, apart from genuinely
isolated bodies of water, of which there are very few, abolish all titles and henceforward just refer to "The sea".
At least two distinct
https://youtu.be/SWRqfWo4hZ8
[pashute, Feb 18 2018]
Invented by someone French.
https://www.youtube...watch?v=fztkUuunI7g
[MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 19 2018]
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Good god, [8th], have you completely taken leave of what
little sense you have? Did you really not think this through?
Were you perhaps distracted by a passing squirrel? Have
you recently suffered a blow to the head? Are you, even
now, under the influence of some sort of intoxicant or
narcotic agent? |
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If all the major bodies of water are interconnected, then it
is obvious to any dolt that they are all The Thames,
dammit. |
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//genuinely isolated bodies of water, of which there are very few// |
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An organised program of canal-building should be able to finish off the
stragglers. |
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I wouldn't worry too much. Eventually the world's oceans
will all end up
inside the trillions of plastic bottles people keep dumping
in them. |
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Clearly we should eliminate Europe as well, and the
Straits of Magellan, which are anything but straight. |
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Europe clearly doesn't exist. And yes, there's just one World
Ocean. |
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Aren't all bodies of water connected by the upper humidity ocean, with it's turbulence and cycles, the unseen sea? So another scientific culturally accepted word would be good. |
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//upper humidity ocean//
lovely |
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Likewise, all land masses are connected (although
there are some where you'll get your feet wet going
from one to another) |
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"It's like, you know, everything is connected, man, so
I just like to go with the flow, like my lava lamp
does..." |
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How about "Wavy McWaveface"? |
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//henceforward just refer to "The sea".// poetic. Has somebody assimilated the Borg ? |
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We'd like to see them try. |
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// just serial numbers // |
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We like the way you think, young hobbit. |
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//religious fuckwit idiots commenting// In whom did you
have mind, [Ian]? |
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Maybe we could create a worldwide distributed computer collective and model the Klein bottle like Wavy McWaveface with all it's beautiful perturbations, ethereal flows and glassy crystalline solid bits. A mind as big as the Borg's might get lost in this ever changing dynamic number complex just as a cat in cat nip. Of course, the safe word would be 'seewater'. |
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<pubquiz>
Q: Which ocean does the western end of
the
Panama Canal meet?
A: The Atlantic Ocean
</pubquiz> |
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BZZZZZT ! No, you twit, it's just "The Ocean", THEY ARE ALL JOINED UP, WHY CAN'T YOU GRASP THIS, YOU MORONS ? |
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Just go up into low planetary orbit and look "down". It's not that hard. The big blue and white thing filling your field of vision. The blue stuff goes all round ... all the same stuff ... even under some of the white bits ... |
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There's Lake Baikal, and the Aral Sea (what's left of it) and Lake Titicaca and that's about it. And the US/Canadian "Great Lakes", perhaps ... |
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You can sail from Yokohama to Sevastopol, providing you can dodge the patrol boats in the Black Sea ... and you have enough tinned and dried food. No locks, no canals, no aqueducts. ALL THE SAME ... |
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Crater lake. And those blue hole caves. |
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I would like to propose that we should abolish all road numbers. |
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After all, they're all joined together, so we can simply refer to them all
as "the road". |
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I don't envisage this change resulting in any navigational difficulties at
all. |
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All places are indeed one place, but that place is very large.
</otpr> |
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//then it is obvious to any dolt that they are all The Thames,
dammit.// |
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Which means everyone's been fishing & drilling in our
territorial waters, this just won't do, we must press our
territorial claims immediately.. or at least charge some rent
or
something. |
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//You can sail from Yokohama to Sevastopol, providing you
can dodge the patrol boats in the Black Sea ... and you have
enough tinned and dried food. No locks, no canals, no
aqueducts. ALL THE SAME ...// |
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If you stand one metre south of the southernmost extent of
the main Buchanan estate, and then travel two metres
north from there, you will quickly (though briefly)
appreciate the significance of boundaries. |
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Oh, so that's why you paid out for all those dodgy Warsaw Pact landmines. |
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// we must press our territorial claims immediately.. or at least charge some rent or something. // |
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Build a wall. That seems to be popular. All right, in water it's technically a dam, but the principle's the same. |
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Maybe you can get the Mexican government to pay for it ? |
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//Which means everyone's been fishing & drilling in our
territorial waters, this just won't do, we must press our
territorial claims immediately..// |
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Absolutely that man! However, given the current state of
the Royal Navy, we'd be prudent not to throw our weight
about too much. Once upon a time, we might have been
able to rise to the challenge of 20 trawlers full of grizzled
Icelanders, but these days we have to reign out ambitions
in a little. We can all look forward to a glorious future
when the F35 will terrify all within a 1100 yard combat
radius. Until 2031 however, we must only consider
enemies that may be effectively suppressed by throwing
canned soup, quite hard, out of the few remaining Sea
Kings. |
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Until you've actually tasted the so-called "canned soup" served to H.M. forces, you shouldn't be quite so blasé about making fun of that particular threat. |
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It's pretty scary. In fact, it's downright terrifying. Although being hit quite hard by big lumps of stuff unexpectedly falling off Sea Kings is rather more likely. |
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Really? I always thought the 24 hour ration packs we got in the
TA were quite decent, of course my standards have often
veered in favor of things other than traditional "quality"
(especially near the end of a two day exercise in wet
weather).. the
coffee was always pretty unspeakable though, even with 10
sugars. |
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That's because it wasn't actually coffee. It was supplementary activated carbon for the NBC mask filters, repurposed as a way of temporarily pacifying miserable, cold, resentful squaddies. |
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The junior officers got the same shit. You had to make Major or better to get actual coffee. Bastards. |
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But some of the stuff was OK. |
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It was neat the way the boxes were printed with the S.A. targets. It suggested you'd be better off shooting the box than eating the contents ... |
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