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I saw the title Lobster with a side of Revenge (see link) and
thought "now, there's an idea" - then I read the idea and
found it wasn't at
all what I was thinking. So, here's my idea, which sprung to
mind after reading that title.
First of all, the whole idea of picking out your own lobster
is
rather bizarre. They generally look all more or less the
same.
Just these funny looking creatures in a fish tank.
So, why not add some fun to choosing your lobster.
Imagine. You've just broken up with your long time
boyfriend
who cheated on you. You're totally depressed. You're not
eating right, just moping round the house all sad. You
friends
decide they need to take you out for a night on the town.
So
they force you into a shower and bundle you off to the
Halfbakery restaurant. As you walk in the door, you notice
the
big fish tank with lobsters in it. They all have a little name
tag
attached to their little tails - and there - in black and white
-
is the name of your cheating-scum boyfriend. And on the
little
female lobster to his right - the name of the girl he cheated
on you with! Now, you have the great pleasure of picking
out
that lobster, knowing that it's being boiled alive in the
kitchen
then eating the thing and enjoying every bite. First decent
meal you've had since you broke up!
The perfect meal for those evenings when you come home
stressed from work because of your $%^* boss and your &*%$
co-workers. A brilliant way to celebrate the divorce coming
through. Great stress relief for PMS... the list goes on.
Heck, masochists could even get lobsters with their own
names on them!
And how do the names appear on the lobsters? When you
book, you simply let the restaurant know the names you'll
need on your lobsters. They fish one out, put the name on
the
small plastic nametag with permanent marker and plop
them
back in the tank.
Of course, this also helps the restaurant because there's no
more coming up to the fish tank and saying "I'll have that
one -
no, no, the one behind him..."
Now its: "I'll have Fred. Make sure he suffers!"
(??) Lobster with a side of Revenge
Lobster_20with_20a_20side_20of_20Revenge [Flux, Jan 31 2005]
[link]
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The poor, poor lobsters. I really couldn't face walking into a restaurant and order the death of something so innocent, even if it does look evil. |
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Do lobsters have feelings? |
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Not after they've been boiled. |
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I'm not sure about feelings, but I know that lobsters possess a chemical equivalent to mammalian Substance P, which is the pain-dependent neurotransmitter (and not originally named, at that) |
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[The Kat] the humane thing is to drop them into boiling water head first. Then supposedly they don't feel pain. But I never asked one what it was like. as I dredged his orange and white succulence through the molten butter. drool... |
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[+] "the best revenge is living well" ... which may include eating lobster |
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i don't think i could handle eating lobster every day of the year |
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Salmon? I thought it was pies. |
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I can't manage pies with my dentures in. |
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The Pope is sick!!! And you can think about revenge?? Anyway, I have little doubt that New England servants would have requested such. If some marine biologist out there can correct me, I'd really appreciated it.. but aren't we essentially talking about something closely related to undersea roaches here? Still hungry? |
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Lobster used to be considered poor persons food.....until the well-to-do noticed how happy they were eating it. |
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awwwright, I've had a few beers too early in the afternoon. But it is Friday - or close enough. ...some undersea foodstuff that is biologically, anatomically, frightfully reminiscent of a roach? |
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//carrion-eating omnivores// |
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"Judge not lest ye be judged..." |
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Lobsters are considerably less advanced than Roaches. Whether or not they are more or less intelligent is another question. |
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[scout] Of course they are - roaches were bright enough to evolve into something less appetising. |
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[scout] Sorry, I forgot to add a jokey, wink emoticon. You're quite right, it is an interesting question. |
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I'm guessing right around the sophistication required to perpetuate the species ;) |
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