h a l f b a k e r yThere goes my teleportation concept.
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The 21 gun salute is the traditional way of celebrating special events, particularly those of kings, queens and presidents on completion of their time in power.
Of course some don't really merit gun salutes, and for this particular type there is now a new salute - The 21 Fart Salute.
Quite a lot
of careful selection and preparation is required, but on the day, and on the hour, the 21 chosen ones will dutifully line up and produce a series of timed and massively elongated farts. These will be amplified to such a degree that not even the spinning rotors of a waiting helicopter can drown them out, as they joyfully celebrate the final departure of the Unchosen one
The amplifiers being paraded into position
https://sodabred.tu...aked-idea-called-21
[xenzag, Jan 18 2021]
Search surname: Ung
https://www.dst.dk/...alg/navne/HvorMange
There were appropriately 21 people in Denmark with the surname Ung in 2020 [pocmloc, Jan 18 2021]
Gnu Song
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_cC_Ngx_iV8
[xenzag, Jan 19 2021]
Musical Leaders
Musical_20Leaders
Shameless elf-promotion [8th of 7, Jan 19 2021]
Start eating those cabbages.... he wants the 21 gnus salute!
https://edition.cnn...ory-trnd/index.html
[xenzag, Jan 19 2021]
Harry S. Truman quote
https://www.goodrea...-was-either-to-be-a
[Voice, Jan 21 2021]
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Wildebeeste, being ruminants, produce profuse quantities of digestive gases - maybe you could arrange a "21 Gnu Salute" ? |
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//"21 Gnu Salute"// Fully approve of this variation. |
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Something just doesn't smell right. Not sure why... |
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It's the alternative smell of victory. |
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Well, it's certainly not "that gasoline smell" ... organic, yes, hydrocarbons, maybe ... more skatoles, actually. |
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If you could gather together teams from the student associations of over twenty U.S. Universities, and got them to blow raspberries in sequence, would that be a "21 Frat Salute" ? |
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Given the amount of flammable gas being
produced, it would also be a shame not to spark
off an
explosive light show at the same time. |
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If it was the Frat members doing the bending over thing, including the gas ignition, could you call it a Moon Shot ? |
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Meant to say "a shame not to".... Fixed |
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That's the end of the Gnus, and now for the Sports.... |
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I gnu you would say that. |
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Because of the use of the word 'trump' to mean 'fart' in UK English, I assumed this would be
an idea for a salute for someone specific... |
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//'trump' to mean 'fart' in UK English,// |
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I spent my first year in the US wondering why people
weren't laughing at things all the time. I saw Trump
Tower, I'm standing there confused as to why no-one was
laughing at what was essentially a big gold fart box. My
local sandwich store has a waste bin with "Toss Here"
written on it. In English English, that's a location-specific
instruction to masturbate, anyone? Come on, that's funny!
Over the road "Dickie's All-American Pants Store (sadly
gone now)" It's written on a big sign in the street! Really?
Driving past BJ's (hur hur hur!) there was a sign on a high
school "This Sunday, the Annual Father Son Touchdown
Competition!" Surely that's not appropriate! |
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When I lived there I liked how "Randy" was a
perfectly OK man's name. An American friend, who was
familiar with UK English, successfully got "BOLLOX"
for his car licence plate which was pretty funny. |
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// wondering why people weren't laughing at things all the time // |
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Because the English consider it bad form to laugh openly at the sad peculiarities of foreigners ? Smirking and the occasional quiet chuckle is considered perfectly adequate. Mocking the afflicted, at least in public, is not normally done (unless the example is exceptionally egregious). |
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//I liked how "Randy" was a perfectly OK man's name.// |
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Heh, Randy is my name.
The Ausies can always be relied on to get a chuckle out of it when I'm introduced. |
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//Heh, Randy is my name.// - you mean "I'm Randy" :-) |
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We thought he was Spartacus ? He said he was Spartacus ... |
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I'm anyone except Spartacus! oh and Trump - I'm never Trump either. I don't mind being a lot of people, but Spartacus is already taken and no one wants to be Trump - ever. |
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And presumably Trump would like to be Putin ... game of Musical Leaders, anyone ? |
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Haha ... no, nailing you to a crucifix, actually (if you are, as you claim, Spartacus). |
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Don' put me up there, I'll get my buddies. You're trumpling on thin ice. My friends will be biden their time. |
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If "trumpling" isn't an officially recognised verb, it really should be. |
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My idea has been read by "himself" and he wants it
now! [cnn link] |
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// My idea has been read by "himself" // |
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Quick, edit in some stuff about the benefits of ingesting halogen-based biocides ... |
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// Something just doesn't smell right // |
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Indeed. [xenie], where have you bean? |
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I've always wanted to travel to Australia. I'm not sure how well it would go over though. I can picture the scene at the pub... <fades to wavy lines as daydream begins> |
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"Hi, I'm Randy.
"Are you now? Why d'ya think I'd want to know that then mate? Maybe everybody should know! OY You lot! This little cunt wants me to know how randy he is! Anyone volunteer to help'm out?" |
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<shakes head and snaps out of it> |
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Maybe I'll go by my legal name if I visit... |
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In an alternative sort of drinking establishment, the outcome could be quite different, and in many ways worse ... such as "Ooooh, 'ark at 'im, dearies ... well, you couldn't afford me, darling ... but if you're desperate ...." |
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Do you know how to squeal like a pig, by the way ? Asking for a friend ... |
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Nope. Can't play the banjo either. |
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No, I'm not a lawyer either. |
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<Surreal mental image of two lawyers contesting court case though medium of dueling banjos/> |
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Good image. A prolonged Hillbilly style feud would
settle matter for once and for all, and as they've
already got all the guns in the world let's sell them
a few billion rounds of ammunition and let them
get on with it. |
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<Counsel for the Prosecution> |
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"Dang-a-DANG- dang-dang-dang-dang dang dang ..." |
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</Counsel for the Prosecution> |
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If you haven't tried, how do you know you're not the next undiscovered banjo virtuoso? |
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If it's anything like a guitar then I'm pretty sure I suck at it. Short stubby fingers better suited holding a hammer and chisel or pencil than a musical instrument. |
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Maybe the harmonica, or kazoo... |
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You see, its that kind of defeatest attitude that means that music-lovers will never get a chance to be blessed* with your sell out* solo banjo tour of the world's major opera houses* and stadiums.* |
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Look out Steve Martin. Coming through. |
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// Maybe the harmonica, or kazoo... // |
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Do either of those sound like a pig squealing ? Your new bestest friend Bubba wants to know ... |
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Also, the best artists challenge boundaries and shock their audiences. Don't be held back by conservative preconceptions of how a banjo is meant to sound. Create your own genre of pig-squealing banjo DIY hammer noise. |
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// preconceptions of how a banjo is meant to sound // |
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They are meant to sound the same as bagpipes; a soft, pleasant cracking, popping sound as the flames reduce them to unrecognizable ashes. |
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Ooh, law as encoded and presented by musical
performance art... could be interesting. |
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"The walker may get to where he wants to go
He may lose his stride on the way
In boots made of leather
Although well put together
I don't believe a word he has to say |
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If your pockets are empty
If the Wheel of Fortune lets you down
You gotta hang loose
Get ready for the Wheel to turn around" |
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"Your honor, I object! Council is badgering the witness!" |
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"Papapapapa ooomm mow mow..." |
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// law as encoded and presented by musical performance art // |
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It could bring a whole new level of meaning to the well-known phrase "Playing the piano in a whorehouse ... " |
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I'm seeing extra royalties for Leonard Cohen ("There's a law,
there's an arm, there's a hand") and many blues singers
(variations on "My baby gone done me wrong"). |
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"I played the law, and the law won" ? |
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"I made coleslaw, and the 'slaw won" |
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Sour bloke, past his sell-by date ... |
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And we're back 'round; perfect descriptor of the last two words of [xen]'s idea. |
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Did He get His coveted 21 Farts, by the way? Traumatically televised and overplayed on the radio, but as a proud resident of Canuckistan, I ignored the hoopla on general principle (fed up of 4 years' sleeping next to the erratic Elephant that is the Untied States of Asshat). |
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