I have recently invented a game which can be played by Westerners who are staying in large hotels in predominantly Muslim countries. It is called "The Room Service Wine Game". I have played a few rounds of it so far.

Here's how to play the Solitaire version:

1) Order and consume a bottle of wine in your room.
2) When the wine is finished, return the bottle, wine-cooler and glass to the tray on which they were delivered.
3) Stroll down the corridor past the other rooms, carrying the aforementioned tray, bottle etc.
4) When nobody is looking, place the tray on the floor, *exactly* mid-way between two adjacent rooms.
5) Wait.

The skill lies in picking the rooms. If you have picked badly, then two Westerners in the adjacent rooms will merely assume that the other has enjoyed a refreshing drink. If you have picked a little better, then the Muslim resident of one room will be slightly amused or offended by the drinking habits of the Westerner in the next room, while the Westerner will be surprised to see that his Muslim neighbour has been indulging.

If, however, you have hit the jackpot, and placed the tray between two rooms occupied by Muslims, much amusement can be had from the resulting confusion.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 05 2010

Ingenious, prejudiced, dangerous, insulting, devious, patronising and funny [+]
-- hippo, Nov 05 2010


Funny, yes. But you do realise this is exactly the reason why so many muslims hate the west right? That and because they refuse to listen to Yoda.
-- zeno, Nov 05 2010


For an extra frisson, include a bacon sandwich on the room service order.
-- 8th of 7, Nov 05 2010


//this is exactly the reason why so many muslims hate the west //

Really? Touchy bunch.

(How long have you been doing this shit, [Max]?)
-- Boomershine, Nov 05 2010


192.5 hours.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 05 2010


I imagine this could also be done profitably in Salt Lake City.

Of course, to work at all, the occupants of adjoining rooms must be aware of each other's religions.
-- gisho, Nov 05 2010


I suspect that most people of all persuasions drink like fish and watch nonstop dirty movies in their hotels. +/- ibogaine. Present company excluded, of course.
-- bungston, Nov 05 2010


//192.5 hours.//

Well, no wonder they're pissed!

But I wonder why they got pissed at the whole western world just because [MB] plays little jokes on them? That doesn't seem right. [Max], don't you have any buildings or airports on the estate they could blow up?
-- Boomershine, Nov 05 2010


I'm not having debris all over the croquet lawns again. Besides, it frightens the peacocks.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 05 2010


How about leaving a plate of pork rib bones and a drugged and trussed, used rentboy next to the bottle? You could probably start an entire jihad within a half hour or so, if you pick the right (wrong) rooms.

[+], by the way.
-- infidel, Nov 05 2010


//much amusement can be had from the resulting confusion//
There is also the possibility that the occupants of both rooms would sigh, roll their eyes, and mutter "_That_ old chestnut again!" Only empirical research (with adequate sample size, of course) can give us the answer.
-- mouseposture, Nov 06 2010


the fool here

entirely the trickster;

he humors himself

others oblivious.
-- WcW, Nov 06 2010


Is that haiku? I agree with you though, this is psychopathy.
-- daseva, Nov 06 2010


With you on that one,
[WcW]
100%

-- MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 06 2010


Psychopathy, yes,
But done most amusingly.
Laughs get indulgence.
-- gisho, Nov 06 2010


A religious war,
Broke out at the Sheraton,
Over wine bottles.
-- infidel, Nov 06 2010


Why do we always
Find ourselves doing Haiku
Here on the HB?
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 06 2010


A baker yclept Maxwell B
Thought he'd stir up some controversy
and his un-PC joke
earned 9 [+]! HB folk
find that sort of thing funny, you see.
-- mouseposture, Nov 06 2010


A variation of this game can be played with a half-eaten cheeseburger in India.
-- DrWorm, Nov 06 2010


//India// Or Borough Park, Brooklyn.
-- mouseposture, Nov 06 2010


By his use of "yclept" our friend [mouse],
Reveals his erudite roots to this house,
I must admit I'd not heard,
That particular word,
Since last I partook of fine scouse.

If you want to really offend a Mohammedan louse,
And his olfactory sense fully arouse,
Mayonnaise and Romaines,
On a soft petit-pain,
Make a meal with tomato and souse.
-- infidel, Nov 06 2010


[infidel] presents to us fleeting annos
with more inspiration than he usually shows.
-- daseva, Nov 06 2010


This whole idea, and the annos brought me outta a pretty suicidal, dismal funk. So it must be good. +=yayyayay=funny idea.
-- blissmiss, Nov 07 2010


Ahh, the power of humor over hatred.
-- daseva, Nov 07 2010


Inspiration may be balanced 'gainst time,
When composing a few lines of rhyme,
It depends on the day,
As to what I might say,
Whether crude or refined or sublime.
-- infidel, Nov 07 2010


I pick room and mate

wine chooses placement and fate

the rest is sublime.
-- blissmiss, Nov 07 2010


//This whole idea, and the annos brought me outta a pretty suicidal, dismal funk. So it must be good.//

Well, I've always said, if I can brighten someone's life, they must be pretty deep in crap.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 07 2010


I would have thought the HB would precipitate depression, rather than alleviate it.
-- infidel, Nov 07 2010



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