A small device that can notify the wearer via a flashing light/alarm/small electric shock when they have said something unbelievably cocky. The wearer is then in a full state of readiness for the impending failue/disaster that inevitably follows such a statement. The device could be trained to spot typically cocky statements like 'hey everyone, watch this', 'I can do better than that' or 'I'm the best....'-- nichpo, Mar 05 2003 OW ! Darned thing keeps shocking me .....-- 8th of 7, Mar 05 2003 Look! No hands! BZZZZT!-- oneoffdave, Mar 05 2003 Sounds like the latest in fate collision avoidance technology. Many a greek myth would have had happier endings.-- Worldgineer, Mar 05 2003 This is an unbelievably poor ide...OUCH.-- egbert, Mar 05 2003 Okay, how does it recognize such statements?-- galukalock, Mar 05 2003 A discrete microphone, connected to speech recognition. You would train it to your voice and the set of ridiculously arrogant statements that one is in the habit of making-- nichpo, Mar 05 2003 You won't be laughing when I get 2 and a half cr - BZZZT - Ouch !-- nichpo, Mar 05 2003 Oh YEAH?! How bout THIS! DZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!!!!-- galukalock, Mar 05 2003 and maybe a sarcasm meter for morons.-- cameron, Mar 05 2003 Can I get one of these that will inconspicuously shock *someone else* when they do this near me, or should I carry a cattle prod for that?-- X2Entendre, Mar 05 2003 I just leave the batteries out now. It kept eating them.-- RayfordSteele, Mar 05 2003 [thumbwax] is at the gas station, filling and bragging about his ride when suddenly there's a fireball sufficient to drop [8th of 7]'s jaw...-- lurch, Mar 05 2003 brilliant. you are what makes this competition.-- lizzaurenpizzagni, Mar 05 2003 Rods: Reminds me of the "Kixxck!" sound this morning as my son hurried out the door and crushed the skull of a sparrow, deposited there by our hunter, gatherer cat.-- FarmerJohn, Mar 06 2003 Not WIBNI or magic. As explained, this device is pre-programmed to respond with voice recognition to a variety of phrases that would get the wearer in trouble. Entirely bakeable with a wearable computer, a microphone and a cattle prod. Should be able to scale the thing down to about wrist-watch size in a couple of years.-- Cedar Park, Mar 06 2003 You think it'll take that lon..OUCH!-- egbert, Mar 06 2003 //filling and bragging// Actually bitching and moaning would be more accurate, though it beats having a rice-bur *OW!*-- thumbwax, Mar 06 2003 Hm. Mine doesn't seem to be working.-- waugsqueke, Mar 06 2003 Battery's flat already?-- egbert, Mar 06 2003 No, the input amplifier saturated and then overloaded and burnt out, fourteen nanoseconds after poweron ......-- 8th of 7, Mar 06 2003 Thanks Cedar Park. It is entirely bakeable. I challange all those who fishbone me to justify ... bZZZT ouch again ! BTW I'm also working (under royal comission) on a special 'Personal Racist Remark Alarm' for Prince Philip. I suspect this is unbakeable though as it will have to be pre-cognitive and he is highly unpredictable.-- nichpo, Mar 06 2003 Searching my encyclopedic memory (ie, Google)... ah yes, “How to win friends and electrocute yourself”, Cheers episode 7 of season 7. So now, which Cliff Clavin here did you have in mind? <snickers> HEY! Now cut that out.-- pluterday, Mar 06 2003 Beautiful. Simply set it to recognize personal pronouns describing oneself (I, me, mine, etc.) and shock accordingly, though simultaneously accompanied by a loud audio signal would be even better.
"Watch this" is often rewarded in a different fashion, one that usually requires band aids, stitches or a ride in an ambulace.
[+]-- nuclear hobo, Jun 27 2007 Yeah [nuclear_hobo]. Give one to Alanis Morissette.-- squeak, Jun 28 2007 random, halfbakery