Inspired by Akimbomidget's gps holster idea.
If there's a break-in, you only need to grab your shotgun, push the big red "Autodial 911" speakerphone button in the stock and cock your weapon. No juggling your phone and your gun.
The intruder would hear: "911, what's your emergency" and "Kashink-shink" (you cocking your gun) followed by you saying "There's an intruder at 123 Happy Lane and I've just taken cover and cocked my shotgun."
I would think very few intruders would continue their plans after hearing that.
Might have a cover on the button that needed a key as well. Have the key unlock the shotgun's fireing mechanism at the same time it pops open the cover to the 911 button.-- doctorremulac3, Oct 06 2010 Ass Toasters Ass_20ToastersNot related to this idea. [Boomershine, Oct 07 2010] Akimbomidget's gps holster idea GPS_20beacon_20holsterThanks for the credit! And good work on the idea remixing. *cuddle my fishbone* [mofosyne, Oct 07 2010] This would never work. I don't live at 123 Happy Lane.-- MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 06 2010 I don't live at Happy anything.
But this idea makes me smile [+].-- baconbrain, Oct 06 2010 Is there a non-shotgun version? "I've just removed my 4 feet length of rusty re-bar from behind the door and released my attack chicken from its pen" .....made myself laugh [+]-- xenzag, Oct 06 2010 Whoever did live at 123 Happy Lane would have a terrible time, with the police visiting on false callouts every 10 minutes.-- pocmloc, Oct 06 2010 //length of rusty re-bar from behind the door and released my attack chicken from its pen" .....made myself laugh//
LOL. Me to.-- doctorremulac3, Oct 06 2010 For clarity's sake (she couldn't be here tonight), the "911, what's your emergency" part is a recording, right? How about a real call to the police, as well?
Then the "Kashink-shink" is also a recording. Why not cock the gun for real (it's a real shotgun)?
I think a real shotgun with a phone built in to the stock is all you really needed here. Maybe a loudspeaker to announce your presence and intentions.
Or you could skip the gun altogether, just play the recording and hope for the best.
Oh, maybe send a call to the residents of 123 Happy Lane, to let them know the cops are coming.-- Boomershine, Oct 07 2010 //the "911, what's your emergency" part is a recording, right? How about a real call to the police, as well?//
Yea, that's the idea, to have a designated real cell or wireless landline speaker-phone built into the stock of your real shotgun. If you're in trouble, you get your key that both unlocks the cover to a big red button on the shotgun's stock and the safety on the shotgun. You pop the cover off and push the button which autodials 911 putting them on a speakerphone so your hands are free to operate the shotgun.
You'd have a volume knob and the speaker would be right by your ear so you could be surreptitious about your 911 call or blast it loud for anybody else to hear which is how I'd use it.
Of course the downside of turning it up is if 911 says "Sorry, due to cost overruns we don't have anybody available tonight, can the burglar come back tomorrow?" So maybe quiet would be better.
But since the robber would be real, the phone, gun and ammo would all be real too.
Come to think of it, maybe the button should be on the butt so you pop the cover off with the key, and when you put it to your shoulder it makes the call. The speaker's holes are located by your ear and the mouthpiece's hole is located by your mouth so it would work pretty well.
Your already holding the stock up to the side of your head anyway, might as well put a phone to 911 in it.-- doctorremulac3, Oct 07 2010 LOL.
Click "Hello? Uh, I'm sure it's a fine newspaper and that's a great subscription price but you got me at a reaaaaally bad time... uh, yea there's a robber in my house.... no, right now... ah, no I don't think he'd be interested in a free trial subscription either."-- doctorremulac3, Oct 07 2010 //Would this shotgun form-factor phone allow incoming calls ?//
This is a good question. You wouldn't want you wife to call at this particular moment and have the thing broadcast, "Honey, I stopped at Sportsman's Warehouse, but they were out of shotgun shells."-- Boomershine, Oct 07 2010 <aside>[doc] would you check this [link], see if I got it right?</aside>-- Boomershine, Oct 07 2010 Yes, that's my idea exactly.-- doctorremulac3, Oct 07 2010 Good, then a bun [+] for this idea as well.
(I'm still unsettled on the *right* TmblwdEmtcn, but love the idea.)-- Boomershine, Oct 07 2010 This would work better if the shotgun called whatever was actually the emergency number where you were, rather than "911". The number "911" will get you a "number unobtainable" tone in most places, something which is likely to worry your intruder less than the sound of the police operator picking up the phone would.-- hippo, Oct 07 2010 Well, yea that goes without saying. You wouldn't want to get dial-a-prayer or something.-- doctorremulac3, Oct 07 2010 Also, I suppose it would have to be a phone which didn't accept incoming calls. Getting a call about double-glazing or how you can save money by switching your energy supplier whilst in a stand-off would not be helpful.-- hippo, Oct 07 2010 ... unless it was a reaaaally good deal.
(Homeowner aiming shotgun) "Stand back or I'll shoot! Hold on." (whispering) "really? fifteen percent? Is that just the introductory price?"
(burglar) "Who's that?"
(homeowner) "Shut up you!" "so how long am I guaranteed fifteen percent?"
(burglar) "Is that the window salesman? 'Cause you need a new window."
(homeowner cocking weapon again) "I said shut up. And yes."
(burglar) "Is it that fifteen percent guy? Because that's a scam. It's fifteen percent off but they over charge on financing."
Then John Cleese walks in wearing some goofy outfit etc.-- doctorremulac3, Oct 07 2010 random, halfbakery