This sombrero contains six liters of bear grade pepper spray and several powerful outward-facing nozzles. At the touch of a button the stuff is copiously sprayed everywhere around the user between 1 and 10 meters. Options include a gas mask, skunk mix, a refill canister, and a twelve liter tank. 100% guaranteed not to miss anyone or anything in the target area.
-- Voice, Jan 09 2021

I'll leave the belt fed Uzi and flame variants to be developed by others.
-- Voice, Jan 09 2021


Or, or... you could just be like "Hey bud, sorry I startled you there, I'm just going to do non threatening stuff right now while you sniff that I am Not currently fear sweating and I must say you've grown quite a winter coat this year, Well you are just a magnificent creature aren't you? Yes you are. Oh we could bff's I just know it. I... hey where are you going? come back! I have snacks. Snacks damnit! WHY?! Why do you always run? Let me love you!"

Sixty percent of the time it works every time.
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jan 09 2021


Times like this I really with the HB had a "laugh" react...
-- 21 Quest, Jan 09 2021


That'll keep fellow hikers away too.
-- sninctown, Jan 09 2021


When and where will you be field testing it ?

We would very much enjoy watching the test. We will be delighted to supply a suitable bear, if you don't have one immediately available.
-- 8th of 7, Jan 09 2021


In the year 2500 no one will know why bears avoid only Mexicans.
-- Voice, Jan 09 2021


Yes, yes, fine, now, would you mind putting these apples in your pockets, and smearing this mixture of shortening and honey liberally on any exposed skin ?
-- 8th of 7, Jan 09 2021



random, halfbakery