h a l f b a k e r yPoint of hors d'oevre
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you're talking too loud LED
a small LED, hung around the neck/draped over the rear of the shoulder/built-into seats to politely inform those behind you while at the theater to keep it down. | |
i recently saw "once upon a time in mexico." the movie itself was fine, however, i had the misfortune of being seated directly in front of two jamaican ladies who only ceased their loud chatter after i turned around, mid-film, to tell them to keep it down. their reply was a mix of "pffffffss" and "ohnomanhedint"
and "uhuhuhuh." however, they shut up afterwards and fortunately, i enjoyed the remainder of the movie in relative peace.
for those of us less stout of heart, this invention comes into play. a small LED connected to a bandpass filter of some sort (to distinguish b/w film noise/speech and jackasses chatting behind you) which emits a tiny light (perhaps different colors of light for varying degrees of loudness) to let both the clowns behind you and those besides them that someone's getting a little bit loud.
alternatively, movie theaters can install these in the back of the theater seats, perhaps spaced apart every 3-5 seats or so. it can become a standard...or something.
edit: comes in two versions, automatic or manual trigger
[link]
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It would be cool if 1) the light shone directly in the malefactors' eyes and 2) they couldn't tell who initated it (to avoid possible retaliatory action). |
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//It would be cool if 1) the light shone directly in the malefactors' eyes and 2) they couldn't tell who initated it (to avoid possible retaliatory action).// |
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i was thinking the same thing - but i don't think the technology's out there to match eye w/ voice print. however, if it's understood (and it should be) that the LED is automatic - that is, it goes off whenever the chatter exceeds a certain threshold - what is there to retaliate against? the LED for letting the jackass(es) know they're jackasses? |
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Just bring a cattle prod with you to the theatre.... BZZZZZTTT! |
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//i was thinking the same thing - but i don't think the technology's out there to match eye w/ voice print. however, if it's understood (and it should be) that the LED is automatic - that is, it goes off whenever the chatter exceeds a certain threshold - what is there to retaliate against? the LED for letting the jackass(es) know they're jackasses? // |
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I was imagining it would be activated by the aggrieved party, rather than automatically. Perhaps I misunderstood. |
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need this for drunk friends at parties ... how about a larger-scale sensor that would indicate if the noise in and apartment or house was above tolerable for the neighbors ... perhapse cut-down on police complaints |
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You could bring along a pair of inflatable ear trumpets that would improve your listening pleasure and block their view. |
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I'd like them in buses. I was recently sitting in front of a girl who had one of those mobile phones that you can download MP3s onto. Unfortunately she only had one (really awful) song on her phone and very tinny earphones. Listening to the same song played loudly over and over again nearly drove me insane. |
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replace LED with, hmmm, a laser.
the type they use to remove
tatoo's so it will burn the skin. that
will really get their attention, a
little light wont. |
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//I really hate not being able to talk during movies, probably as much as people hate people talking during movies.// |
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heh. conversation is bearable as long as it's inaudible. in other words, just whisper! |
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these girls sitting behind me were ridiculous. they shouted/screamed EXTREMELY loudly at any remotely surprising/extreme moment (e.g., explosion, gunshot, dog on the screen). they also repeatedly asked one another "whoisdat" pretty much every 3 minutes during the first half of the movie. basically, every time a character changed ANYTHING about themselves (attire, voice, weapon), they got confused and conversed with one another. it was rough. |
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Just need one low power lazer located in the middle of the ceiling, computer detects seat of annnoyance and focuses beam on offender until it is stopped. No one else would see the beam. |
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"conversation is bearable as long as it's inaudible. in other words, just whisper!" |
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NO! Watching a movie is a non interactive event, and there should be no talking whatsoever (unless the movie is particularly bad, then snide comments are allowed)! |
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I know how to get around this problem though. Always go to the cinema alone, and always during the day. Been doing this for a few years now, and haven't looked back. I've only ever had to share the room with at most sixteen quiet like minded people. |
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I wish we had one of these for
both my mom as well as my
mother-in-law. |
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//always during the day//
SHHH!! Quiet, Robob!
Well, as long as the secret's out, Sunday evening shows are often unpopulated, too. |
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The matinee on the day a film’s released is my favorite. It’s in the big theater with the best sound and pristine picture, and nobody’s there. If I want to hear or produce heckling or jabbering, I rent the DVD later.
However, if people who haven’t seen the film are discussing the current scene, sometimes I overhear an interpretation I wouldn’t have noticed. Occasionally someone behind me is emotionally “into” the story line and reacting honestly, adding to a touching dramatic moment. But more often, I wish they’d just zip it. |
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In Jamyaiaca we hav da eejection seaht mon. Da teater's can myake no money fuh da bingi witout em an das no lai! If ya won gwo see da pyictyahs wit no eejection seahts ya ghonn hav gwo to da bingi suhb-herbs man. |
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// NO! Watching a movie is a non interactive event, and there should be no talking whatsoever (unless the movie is particularly bad, then snide comments are allowed)! // |
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if a tree falls in the forest... |
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Hmm...and perhaps a more generalized device with a larger display that one can wear all the time to instruct people on how to address you. For example, "Please stop spitting at me." Or even, "Look at me when I'm talking to you." Or, for the women, "Please stop staring at my cleavage." |
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The idea seems good, but instead of a light a metal spike should be installed in the bottom of the seat and when they make too much noise.... |
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I think a similar device would do well on cell phones, though for a different reason. It seems that many people think that while on a cell phone they need to yell to be heard, and it drives me nuts. I guess an LED wouldn't work to well, but maybe a discrete beep in the loud-talkers ear could tell them to tone it down bit so the person on the other end can hear something more distinct than a subway announcement. But, uhhh, on topic I agree. No talking at movies. If you want to do something social, go bowling or something. Also maybe it could have a "get your feet the hell off the back of my chair" sign/shoe melting device. |
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I have a theory there is some sort of evil ring that is speculating on LED futures, that is sponsoring all these LED-based ideas. (Black helicopters not included). |
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[screwtape] perhaps your next invention should be a foot from mouth removal device. |
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<encripted conversation over untraceable lines>This [krelnik] knows too much. Terminate him!</encripted conversation over untraceable lines> |
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I was going to post a link to the Theater Sniper idea but it appears to have been rubbed out. Anyhow, I guess that that's not the kind of LEAD that you're talking about, right?
(Hey, zippy!) |
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oh wait - this is the guy who created this place? that's pretty wild. [above comment retracted]. heh |
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My LED went off 'cause Phoenix's
LED went off because of your LED
which was set up to go off 'cause
someone was talking during a
movie. Are you still at the movie,
can I shut these off now? |
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Hold the phones! I'm getting read
out from this other device here.
You said what to Jutta? Oh. Oh, I
see! Uh huh. Nope, this doesn't
look good. Others got this
message too. See, Jutta is mostly
harmless. But I can't say the same
for the crowd of regulars by her
side. They have an affinity for
trebuchets, custard, rocket
propelled cats and bizarre
metaphors. I don't know what that
would make but it will have a
French name and you won't want
to be in it. :) |
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// [marked-for-deletion] Rant: "I hate it when people talk so loud in theatres." // |
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are you kidding me? this is a legitimate idea and a legitimate embodiment - an apparatus to let people know when they're speaking beyond a certain threshold of intolerability. like i said, it could simply be installed in the back of theater seats, use a very simple bandpass filter, and would avoid the air of confrontationalism since it's a very neutral, very simple device. |
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don't accuse the invention of being a "rant" merely because the annotations took off on that theme |
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jutta - gotcha; this idea (like many) was borne out of a common problem. i agree that there exists a whole range of problems which could be dealt with in the manner you suggested (LED) but there's still room for novelty. here, for example, the novelty comes into play in two ways: the placement of the LED in such an environment, and the way it functions. as one comment suggested, i could have made it wholly manual - as in everyone operates it. but i think the automatic embodiment is a neat little idea that maybe, just maybe, a theater out there would be interested in. it's totally innocuous, but to the majority of people out there (like me and many of my friends) who occasionally talk during movies (whisper), it'd be a godsend...because it would both a) alert me, personally, if i'm getting too loud, and b) give me the piece of mind that i don't have to turn around and tell the fools behind me to pipe down. in other words, it provides a primary layer of notification/defense - it would resolve most instances of 'talking too loud' without necessitating the oftentimes awkward confrontation. |
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How about bringing to the theater a laser display that projects onto the movie screen a big red message like, "SHUT IT, JACKASS". This way, the source of the complaint is unknown for retaliation, plus now everyone in the theater is aware of their jackassery. Hopefully very embarrassing for the offender. |
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[jive], Lets make it a slightly more powerful laser, powerful enough to burn "SHUT IT, JACKASS" into the projection screen, so that nobody will forget the jackassery, at least not for another 90 minutes or so. |
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oxencrossing - i hope you read my annotation addressed to jutta. in any event, your 'explanation' leaves much to be desired and is, plain and simple CORNY. not worth my time to argue with you or attempt to 'contribute' to this community. you're obviously convinced this is predictable and derivative (despite failure to explain how beyond the snide ad hominem attack), and i'm thoroughly convinced it is not. it's not a "rant pure and simple" because obviously i don't really give a shit if people talk behind me. i just give them their 3 strikes, then turn around and tell them to shut up. |
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what's with mods anyway? i've yet to come across a mod that doesn't get off on exerting their lameass 'mod powers' to the slight annoyance of posters. i guess viewed cumulatively, over many, many such corny interactions, you must extrude a scintilla of 'joy' from it, but i think in the long run it does more damage to the community than good. now if you were paying attention, you'll see that ^that^ was a rant. |
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anyway, oxen crossing is a deluxe loser. |
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This isn't the treatment that
newbies get around here it's the
way that newbies react to how
everyone get annotated. |
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The only mod you would have met
on this thread would have been
Jutta. |
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I fishboned this because -
The majority of the idea description was a rant.
I was feeling cranky and the rant had a slightly racial slant, which is unecessary, and made me more cranky.
And also how does the LED stop people talking? The sort of people who talk in cinemas do so because they have no idea that there exists other poeple in the world apart from themselves. How are they going to notice a small LED ? |
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No Oxen. If you feel that it is a
rant then you are fully in the right
to mfd it. Mfd is just an alert.
Jutta or any of the 'mods' then
come along and see if the mfd is
justified. I have had a couple of
my ideas deleted, some have
stayed and still have the mfd and
some I deleted outright. |
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It's no big deal if it is mfd'd. It's
not usu a personal attack on
anyone. Not everything we create
here is a gem (with the exception
of Lostdog but he is an evil super-
genius and many people are
scared of him. When I find his
secret lair, I will be able to repair
my ship and go home. First, I have
to get past his nanite security
system. Now you all know the
truth.) |
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This shouldn't be mfd as it's a perfectly valid, if not a bit lackluster, invention idea. [oxen crossing], if you'd be so kind as to delete your mfd tag, please. |
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PS I am one of those lameass mods, [screwtape]. |
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Hi screwtape, sorry to get off the topic.. but do you come from a land down under? |
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