h a l f b a k e r yEureka! Keeping naked people off the streets since 1999.
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ever cheated on a diet? this pantry can help. inside the pantry are 10 locked shelves that only unlock when the pantry wants them to. in order to get them to unlock, you have to step on a scale and it will unlock certain shelves. for example, if you weigh 300 pounds and want to be 200, if you weigh
270, you can't get to the shelf with chocolate-covered pretzels. you can, however, use the shelf containing green beans, rye bread, and other healthy foods. also available in a refrigerator and freezer version.
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Only good if the user is unable to get fattening food any other way than from his / her pantry |
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What happens if you're having a costume party, and wearing something heavy, like a suit of armour? |
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then you can only get to the shelf containing inorganic aerogels. |
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Should be "watchers'", or maybe "watcher's" if referring to just one weight watcher. Or perhaps just "weight watchers' p(ed)antry"... |
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UB's right ... the desire to overeat is stronger than technology. Even those gastric-bypass things aren't foolproof; people will eat, even if it hurts or nauseates them. |
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Anyway, diet alone doesn't work. How about making the weight watchers' pantry an auto-ambulatory thing, which will dodge around the house while the errant dieter tries to catch it? This way, the pantry could stop moving and snap open at an appropriate time, as determined by its speed of movement ... say, after 30 minutes of aerobic exercise. |
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Why can't you just have a Stomach Shunt and eat what you damn well like? |
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Make it so the dieter has to pedal a stationary bike for x minutes to unlock the pantry. |
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Note that this would be useful for Birth Control Panties as well. |
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I think Pussygalore has something going. |
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What would be the incentive to store anything in such a pantry? |
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Phoenix, perhaps the pantry could be kept at the bottom of a deep well under the house? Then, in order to eat, you would have to haul the pantry up (perhaps using the winch attached to the stationary bike), thus burning calories. The pantry would automatically go back to the bottom of the well after a while. |
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Congratulations! Officially the best idea in health: obesity. Now, that says something... |
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