h a l f b a k e r yNot so much a thought experiment as a single neuron misfire.
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The infants on the flights I'm on are usually screaming away long before the flight even leaves the ground. I don't think it's all about Eustachian tubes, I think it's about being in a strange, crowded environment, and being the kind of infant which is screaming 80% of the time anyway. |
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Another squalling-infant-on-a-plane trick: take two small cups, styrofoam or plastic. Soak two paper towels in very hot water, and wring them out. Stuff the paper towels into the cups, and place one over each of the child's ears. The steam from the towels usually helps clear the little one's Eustachian tubes. |
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As for annoyed adults ... every airport on earth sells earplugs for just this reason, and they really do work. |
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As an easily annoyed adult, I do the following:
1. Pinch nose closed lightly.
2. Blow, as if blowing one's nose.
3. Register sound and relief as Eustachian tubes clear. |
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Works easily without gum or earplugs. |
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Babies, in spite of the clichee, have not been much of a problem lately. What I want is a far-away place to seat the extrovert broker who need to spend 6 hours straight talking about investment options with the other extrovert broker across the aisle. |
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My hearing aid has a switch - "waaa-" *flick*...(5 minutes pass...) *flick* "wa-" *flick* ----so on and so forth until stewardess mixes some drinks for the kid.
Actually, that's not healthy for you jutta - Ask an Otolaryngolgist (Ear-Nose-Throat Doc) next time you bump into one what is best - that is, if you two can hear each other over the screaming bab(y)/(ies) - {Investment Brokers included in same category}. |
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what about a section for Otolaryngolgists? like that when you ask, is there an Ear-Nose-Throat Doc in the plane (as you do), the whole section turns around and replies! or an Alpha-section, for the Alpha race, and a Beta race section. no more class mixing eh?? |
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I have flown a lot with my children, who have never cried on aeroplanes, which leads me to suspect that the people who complain about kids on aeroplanes are the sort of people who only notice kids when they're crying and thus conclude that kids are always crying on aeroplanes. |
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By no means are all children on airplanes squalling, but enough of them are to be quite an issue sometimes. |
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Perhaps after one or two flights where your children are verified to be squallproof, you'd be allowed to sit them in the non-squalling section. |
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What about a special section for people who are intolerant of children? - "A seat in the intolerant, self-important gits section? Certainly sir..." |
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[hippo] Sounds good to me. Though I don't understand why anyone without squallers of their own would choose to sit in the squaller-tolerant section. |
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A special section for parents with kids could also have special amenities, like easy-access changing tables, a different seating configuration to make it easier to keep siblings under control while dealing with crying babies, and other things people more creative than I could think of. It could be mandatory, for the comfort of other passengers, but desirable for parents, because it'd make their journey more pleasant. And it wouldn't be as expensive as making these amenities available for the entire cabin. |
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Airport bathrooms seem to be adding family-friendly features, like mixed-gender areas and changing tables. Why not the planes? |
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I've seen churches with a feature like this - a glassed-in area for parents with crying babies. "It's a good thing." It both prevents screaming babies from annoying everyone, and allows parents to explain what's happening to their older children, without being disrespectful to the ceremony. |
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"Now all we need is a special section for people who can't stop talking to their rowmates..." |
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A little one-seat room would be good.The parents of the screaming child get stressed out by their child screaming, and simultaneously stressed by that fact that they know how hard it can be for the rest of the plane, even if everyone is being nice about it. A soundproof box would enable them to take shifts (assuming there are two parents present) and give each other and the rest of the plane a rest. |
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However, if you get to fly the airplane, you don';t need the lingerie models, the jelly beans or the singing. Just flying the 'plane is better than sex ... |
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