Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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security service for bicyclists

Service that reports dangerous drivers while you ride
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Providing the police with an accurate account of a dangerous road rage incident can be time-consuming and futile. This would be a service that would monitor video and radar data recorded by your bicycle and quickly report instances of dangerous and/or illegal activity to any relevant authorities. It would be an add-on to existing technologies paid for by subscription to a monitoring service that would work on the cyclist's behalf with various agencies that may or may not be interested in dealing with hazardous driving habits. This would allow a bicyclist to continue their ride and put any stressful moments behind them while also giving them the piece of mind that something is being done.

Alerts could be sent by the cyclist pressing a button on the handlebars or triggered automatically by proximity sensors. This would upload the last few minutes of video, positioning, and sensor data to a central monitoring service. Experts at the monitoring service would review the evidence gathered and decide on an appropriate response. Responses could be creating a report in a close call database, informing the auto insurance company that insures the offending vehicle, telling the spouse/parents of the offending driver about the incident, and/or reporting the incident to the police. Progress updates and requests for additional information could be sent back to the bicyclist when necessary.

Currently, there's not much a bicyclist can do about drivers who are endangering the lives of others until after serious bodily injury has occurred. It's frustrating to hear that nothing will be done about the psychopath that just squealed tires across multiple lanes at double the speed limit to throw a jug full of piss at your head, so it would be nice to be able to shield yourself from the apathy. There's a patchwork of resources available to address reckless driving that varies considerably by state and municipality, but it's not easily accessible when you're on the road with your head and heart swirling from a near death experience. Having an advocate to calmly and politely deal with various agencies to maximum effect while you continue to pedal away the excess adrenaline would be a great benefit to bicyclists that would go towards improving road safety for everyone.

evildork, Jan 15 2020

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       Not a way of sweeping the highways clear of obstructions, then ?   

       // squealed tires across multiple lanes at double the speed limit to throw a jug full of piss at your head //   

       Wasteful ... filling the washer bottle with urine is much more economical.
8th of 7, Jan 15 2020
  

       Cyclists should not be in traffic with the several thousand pound hammers we call motorized vehicles which they can neither keep up to nor contend against before push has even come to shove.   

       Cyclists should have dedicated lanes preferably on extra wide pedestrian walks where pedestrians are given right away and extra landscaping costs incurred to the grass by the odd swerve around be damned.   

       Cyclists vs. pedestrians = owies.
Cyclists vs. anything-on-four-wheels = medical bills for cyclists costing far more than walkway widening schemes...
  

       So, when I am elected Benevolent Planetary Sovereign cyclists will no longer be forced to risk their lives in order to eco-travel, and furthermore...   

       I miss my bike. It's too cold and slippery to bike now. It's been 2 months. I'm really sad.   

       This idea is good in theory, for us who want to live and ride. Thank you for thinking of us.
blissmiss, Jan 16 2020
  

       // us who want to live and ride. //   

       <Gaff>   

       "It's too bad she won't live. But then again who does?"   

       <Gaff/>
8th of 7, Jan 16 2020
  

       //too cold and slippery to bike now// warm clothing, studded ice/snow tyres.   

       If the user paid enough this service could provide full-time monitoring of the camera and other data feed by a remote operative. That way, poor driving by any road user could be reported without the user even knowing.
pocmloc, Jan 16 2020
  

       Responding to concerns with a cyclist's place in traffic is important work, so it makes sense for a cyclist to hire a service capable of handling it effectively while they're on the road. It's easy enough to respond in a civilized manner to annotations about contending with motorized vehicles while I'm at home during the season that shortens my rides, but it's not what I want to be spending my time doing when I can be out riding somewhere.   

       I think the service needs to be able to work without a continuous video stream to be useful for properly long rides. Initially, I didn't think a continuous video stream would work at all due to battery life issues. However, streaming could be an option for commuters who go from charger to charger. I would hope it wouldn't be about providing another camera to scrutinize every last instance of bad driving, but a well-scripted response to the worst of it initiated by a bicyclist's request.
evildork, Jan 17 2020
  

       A person going to the effort of throwing a jug of piss has more going on in their life than being held up in traffic. This idea should not be cyclist specific, we all share the road system. The person whom takes more risk has more responsibility.   

       [Chairborne Hero] 60fps for say 1m or 30fps for 1m = 216 km/hr or 108 km/hr. I wonder if it was a government vehicle.
wjt, Jan 18 2020
  

       As a cyclist who commutes by bike on roads, I like the goal, but I don't think the proposed solution is a particularly good one.   

       // giving them the piece of mind that something is being done //   

       I'll give you a piece of my mind! It's "peace of mind", [dork]! :)   

       (Perhaps the tagline "Think of it as a spell checker that insults you, as well" should mention grammar in addition to spelling. And I was going to say "welcome to the halfbakery" as well, but I see you aren't actually new.)   

       // It's too cold and slippery to bike now. It's been 2 months. //   

       Here too, but I still cycle. Not as often as in the summer, but I do. Very carefully. Studded tires, pogies, and I put on somewhat warm pants over my shorts when it's colder than -7 °C. I was going to cycle in ~-25 °C (though not much snow) the other day, but happened to be offered a motor vehicle ride, so took that instead. I think my bike's shifting would have been (only slightly) more of a problem than my body getting cold—I have Raynaud syndrome.
notexactly, Jan 20 2020
  

       // As a cyclist who commutes by bike on roads //   

       We'll nail you in the end ...
8th of 7, Jan 20 2020
  
      
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