Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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personal critic

 Personal Critic
  (+6, -3)
(+6, -3) 		  [vote for,
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A person whose sole job is too critique you on every aspect of your life; in the form of a detailed report (you would get to choose the level of detail). Unlike a wife or girlfriend, they would have no emotional attachment to you; and unlike a shrink they would not make their judgments filtered trough your own recounting of events... rather they would either make personally observations of your life or alternately work from video documentation.

Imagine then getting feedback such as: "You were not strict enough when you reprimanded your co-worker" or "Do you always fold your socks when you put them away?" or "That tip you left that waitress was pathetically small, and embarrassed your date"

[Curious side note: Given the amount of effort this would take on their part; effectively your life would become theirs. However such things have been documented in the lives of Maids & Butlers]

—drinkh20, Jul 21 2008

Moral Support Counsellor Moral_20Support_20Counsellor
The exact opposite. [DrBob, Jul 22 2008]

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       I'm available for parties and bar mitzvahs.
—jutta, Jul 21 2008
   

       Do they ever compliment you? or just complain when necessary?
—phundug, Jul 22 2008
   

       Call this an idea?
What have you been doing with your life?
—coprocephalous, Jul 22 2008
   

       // Unlike a wife or girlfriend, they would have no emotional attachment to you; //   

       What makes you think that wives or girlfriends have any "emotional attachment" to you, rather than to, for instance, your wallet ?
—8th of 7, Jul 22 2008
   

       //I'm available for parties and bar mitzvahs//

So I've heard. Perhaps you should be a bit more restrained?
—DrBob, Jul 22 2008
   

       Do you pay this person?
—xandram, Jul 22 2008
   

       There is a commedian who does a bit that he wants to hire someone in a top hat and tails just to follow him around and state "wrong" when he is about to do something stupid.   

       "I don't need a condom this time..." "Wrong!"
—MisterQED, Jul 22 2008
   

       <pulls foot out of mouth>   

       Need this.   

       <gets ready to place foot back in mouth>   


 

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