h a l f b a k e r yThe embarrassing drunkard uncle of invention.
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peristalsis is an action that you perform every day, even though you may not even notice. it is the act of contracting your esophagus muscles in a wavelike motion so that you can swallow food and drink. it also works at the other end of your alimentary canal to expel waste. which brings us to the
peristaltic toilet.
continuing the action of peristalsis, this toilet utilises a peristaltic pump (yes, they exist) in place of the standard water-filled trap to remove the waste from the bowl. sewer gas is prevented from rising through the drain by the pump itself, which will always stop in a "contraction" position to seal off the drain.
while saving water, as you would only need a little to wash away any residue in the bowl, this toilet would also make an attractive conversation piece, and add to the harmonious continuum of peristalsis in your life.
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Annotation:
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As opposed to a toilet that spits. |
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For some reason this idea sends a shiver down my spine. I'm not sure I want to hear my plumbing gulping. Or burping. |
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to plumber "it is the borborygmus that keeps me awake all night that really drives me nuts." |
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How would you plunge it? (say 'ahhhhhh')? |
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Despite the fact that it sounds like something that Geiger or Cronenberg would come up with, it sounds like a good way to save water. One queasy croissant for mihali. |
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Croissant: Provided it doesn't have a tongue. |
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(Although on second thoughts that might be quite nice). |
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Fine idea, but if you consider anything that you take a dump in an "attractive conversation piece" you need some better conversations. |
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Hold on. Wouldn't this smash crap on the way down and leave a disgusting mess? I can see the brown ring around its "mouth". |
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mihali: I am gagging, but yet I am voting yes. Well done..... I think..... |
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toilet blocked yesterday - this way makes me gag less so croissant |
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solution to queasiness - have normal bowl + peristaltic pump around the corner where it can operate but is not as visible |
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So when you use the term eat shit, it can apply to the toilet. |
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I just had the same idea (you can guess where I've been). |
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The difference in my idea, is to avoid the need for electrics, I propose a hydraulic drive motor to the peristalsic pump. |
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PS, [rbl] you're sick. You demean plumbing with that idea. Where I come from, we use politicians for that. ;) |
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A SWALLOWING toilett? There really is something a bit over the top with that. |
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//Hold on. Wouldn't this smash crap on the way down and leave a disgusting mess? I can see the brown ring around its "mouth".// |
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Yes, it would. Assuming it got that far, that is. You see, a major problem with the peristaltic pump is that it would not actually produce any suction on solids unless there was an airtight seal around the drain pipe opening, which there hardly ever would be. So all it's gonna do is suck down all the water, and then pump air into the sewer all day long, without actually cleaning the bowl. |
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Maybe if you made the toilet lid really heavy and with a tight rubber gasket or something, but that sounds pretty dangerous (your toilet imploding), or expensive, and definitely bad for your pump motor. I dont think that would work anyway, and the electricity you waste is just as bad as water tanks, anyway. Current toilets work, because the weight of all that water in the bowl creates a lot of downward force for solids. |
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Another problem is that peristaltic pumps wear down the tubes they push on very very quickly, especially in a high moisture/chemical(youd have to have chemicals to make it not smell bad) environment that is sitting there with intermittent use, processing solid waste, etc. etc. Basically, youd have to replace your disgusting rubber drain pipe every month or so, I'm guessing. |
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-Leaving the rest of it behind to smell all day / wasting a lot of electricity and effort getting it to go down |
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-Having to constantly replace the aforementioned crap-mashed pipes |
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-Another source of high voltage in the bathroom |
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I just also realized that if you drop your watch or something into this toilet and don't realize it, it will cost you a whole new toilet, not just an annoying half hour with a router. |
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