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old fashioned cellphone

 if you can't win at smaller is better, go big
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Everyone's phone is smaller than mine! God, it gets on my nerves. This guy I know has a phone that's about the size of a matchbox and it looks like David Bowie's codpiece. I can't win at this game. What I want is a cell phone that's big and black with a rotary dial and full sized handset. It'd have a full throaty ring (with a real bell) and then I could whip the handset out of my bag (it'd have a one of those long springy chords) and show that small phone bastard who's the boss.

You could also move a phone like this all over your house (hell the world) without messing with cable or ruining you decor.

—futurebird, Feb 19 2001

Retro Cell Phone http://www.halfbake...etro_20Cell_20Phone
Interestingly enough, even my annotation is not original. [centauri, Feb 19 2001, last modified Oct 05 2004]

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       How about a somewhat-bulky phone with modern electronics and a really huge (by modern standards) battery? It would be nice to have a phone that could run for a few months or years on a charge.
—supercat, Feb 19 2001
   

       Funny, I was just thinking how neat it would be to have a phone that looks like those field radios the Army uses to call in airstrikes. If you could have a backpack with a big floppy antenna on it, you'd have the perfect outfit.   

       By the way, how hard would it be to convert Teddy Ruxpin into a voice-activated cell phone?
—centauri, Feb 19 2001
   

       <grin!> "Mommy, why is he talking into that teddybear's crotch?"   

       More seriously, though, I might actually buy one then...
—StarChaser, Feb 19 2001
   

       "And while we're at it, why not a shoe phone like in Get Smart?" --rmutt, Mar 24 2000   

       >>http://www.halfbakery.com/idea/Star_20Treck_20comunicator<<
—iuvare, Feb 19 2001
   

       Hey centauri, I think they do make those army field radios still. I'm not sure if they double as cellphones though. I know you can get them as radios. But with a little ingenuity, you can hook up anything to anything. Its turning it on and not taking out California's paltry power supply that will be the challenge...
—tierrie, Feb 19 2001
   

       // except the posh kids who’s parents had trim phones //   

       Presumably you know about this because the posh kids taunted you with it while they threw dry crusts and potato peelings over the barbed wire into your ghetto.   

       // phones that only exist in films such as the sort you pick up the mouthpiece and put the candlestick next to your ear. //   

       That's Groucho Marx. The sort where you talk into the candlestick bit and put the other bit to your ear really exist.   

       // the sort of phones they must’ve had in the ancient Egyptian, lower Roman or pre-Pythogarian days. //   

       Unfortunately they didn't pay the bills, and the Reticulants came and took them out.
—8th of 7, May 08 2016
   

       You were right the first time. Ever wondered about all those deep rock-cut tombs in the Valley of the Kings ? Bomb shelters, every one of 'em.   

       Those Reticulants don't mess about. When they Send The Boys Round, their idea of Tooled Up starts with moderate yield nukes and goes up from there.   

       The Maya got carpet-bombed because they complained about the poor broadband service. Don't mess with those little silver-grey bastards, they're poison, they really are.
—8th of 7, May 08 2016
   

       Widely known to be baked among electronics hobbyists. Search for Port-O-Rotary.
—notexactly, May 15 2016
   


 

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