h a l f b a k e r y"This may be bollocks, but it's lovely bollocks."
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You supply a photo of your mama to the MIS Service
Group, pay some money, schedule a session and
then
spend no holds barred time with a mommy impersonator.
The mommy impersonator acts as a stand in for your
mom
now you can say anything to or do anything with your
mom
without the risk
of actually damaging your relationship.
Unless you happen to pursue activities with your mom
impersonator that are troubling and your real mom finds
out.
You could climb a mountain with your mom impersonator
or a tree, or get drunk matching tattoos, you could do all
of the things that your mom just wouldn't do.
your mommy wears combat boots
http://www.youtube....Tv4&feature=related [jaksplat, Sep 14 2010]
Haflbakery: The LORD will be with you.
The LORD will be with you. So the same as this then, only with your Mum, instead of Jesus? [zen_tom, Sep 15 2010]
Winged Monkeys
http://en.wikipedia...wiki/Flying_monkeys Monkeys, but with wings, that fly. [8th of 7, Sep 15 2010]
Rent a Mom!
http://www.needamomnyc.com :( [vfrackis, Dec 29 2015]
[link]
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My first and second questions are both "why??" |
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Hahah.... oh man. The only word that really helped
make sense of the whole thing was 'troubling'. |
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//My first and second questions are both // "huh?" |
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does it help if you change mommy to egyptian mummy? probably not. |
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Ok, I hate being so negative, so I'm going to take
another look at this. |
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First of all, let's get everything on the table. Would
sex be ok? Also, [MB] //"why??"// He said so: "do
anything with your mom without the risk of
actually damaging your relationship." |
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Now, this is funny a bit because, why should your
relationship with your mother be so delicate? If it
is, any instance of her finding out about the
impersonation scheme will send her reeling for the
closet key with which to lock you back up. Point
is, the idea is geared towards touchy mother/child
relationships, but it is deliberate in trivializing the
touchiness, itself, by providing a place to ignore
it. The idea kills its own goals. Still
negative huh... sorry. |
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// [MB] //"why??"// He said so: "do anything with your mom
without the risk of actually damaging your relationship."// |
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Yeah, but, that's not an answer. The deeper question
is....ah, let's not go there. And your point, [das] is a good
one. |
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....and she would never know, which is possibly the problem for you [vrackis]. Think of the guilt when she finds out!.
BTW, I thought that this was why the Americans invented 'shrinks'. |
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how is a much better question than why in every
way. |
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Americans invented shrinks? Haha... oh dear. How?
I'm of the variety that thinks psychoanalysis and
modern psychotherapy stem from the tools and
techniques of Freud (Not American) and his
successors. If americans
had any say in the matter, the concept of 'mind'
would probably not even exist in any definable
way. ... that is I think "american laziness" would have
led the exclusion of such lofty ideas. |
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I have not encountered a group of people anywhere with a
thought process this unsettling. The best part of this idea is
now that automatically sexual relations was inferred as the
ultimate motive by the majority. |
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I was inspired by the prospect of being able to tell my mother
"what for" without a combative answer or nagging debate. I
contemplated interaction with an agreeable mother just for a
short time. That's all Really |
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My relationship is not a touchy. What type of logic led to
that? |
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Lastly I am deeply grateful that I was born a lazy American
devoid of the capability of comprehending the concept of
"mind". It's so crazy to think that we were able, despite our
laziness to prevent Germans from liberating the English
people from ugly old lady ownership. |
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"Hello, yes, you're to be my mommy tonight, then? Splendid! My name? Of course! Allow me to introduce myself! Oedipus Rex. And might I say you're looking ravishing in that apron! Daddy will not be able to join us tonight, I'm afraid... Here's a lovely bun corsage for you..." [+] |
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don't believe everything you see on the big screen [vfrackis] |
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I think I get this one. I don't think it deserves some of the comments. |
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To be able to practice up on a "Look, ma, you're way wrong" might not be all that bad a thing. It can't be easy to cross that line, no? |
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There are certainly things I wouldn't say to my mother out loud that Do rattle through my head at times. |
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EX: Look! Would you please shut the hell up with your Obama hate? I voted for him, Mom. I'd vote for him again tomorrow, too. So? Have you seen what's going on in Greece? |
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//I have not encountered a group of people// I don't
speak for the rest, thanks let's be sure. |
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And you're a fool to try to get off with this sort of
coy sarcastic BS: //The best part of this idea is now
that automatically sexual relations was inferred as
the ultimate motive by the majority.// You're
practically a troll, get used to it. <--- Not a
majority thought, mind you. |
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My statement was not coy or sarcastic, seemed quite direct to
me. |
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I think I'm already used to being a partial troll D
It's the almost part that's so bothersome though. Please be
kind enough to let me know when I reach complete troll.
Also if you think there's a way for me to turn things around I
would appreciate some direction. I was thinking to have some
angel wings attached to my back, do you think that would
work? |
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// It's the almost part that's so bothersome // |
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Yes, demeaning, isn't it ? |
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You are Bill Bailey, and we claim our five dollars. |
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// when I reach complete troll. // |
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It's about the time that you start posting lideas like "Pole Pants". |
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// do you think that would work? // |
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No, it would just turn you into a Winged Monkey ... |
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Other impersonation services might include:
Hitler Impersonators - for people who'd like to say things to (a) Hitler (impersonator) that they might currently be unable to do so.
Obama Impersonators - for people who want to hang out with (a) Barak Obama (impersonator) but who are currently unable to do so.
Jan Hammer impersonators - yawn - you get the idea, people who look like, or are otherwise pretending to be other people, like actors. |
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So since actors aren't new, the 'idea' part of this is the commercialisation of the acting fraternity around the niche role of playing somebody else's Mum. |
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I think it would be a challenge making this commercially viable - perhaps it should be funded by the government? |
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If they funded Grandmothers, wouldn't that be the Nanny State ? |
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No ZT "The Lord will be with you" is an entirely
different concept Jesus follows you around all of
the time so that he is physically on the scene to
offer an explanation for all of the sick things that
happen to people. |
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The "mommy impersonation services" is more a self
help type of thing with short sessions. |
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If you broke it down hourly I think you would have
to pay a mom impersonator more money. A
certified Jesus is a different service and would
have I think lesser demand simply because he
would always be with you and would have to be
affordable. |
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//To be able to practice up on a "Look, ma, you're way
wrong"...// |
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So, you need someone who impersonates your mother to be
able to do that? Or you think a mother-impersonator would
help? Both concepts are bizarre. |
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And I have a very high threshold for bizarrity. |
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Trying to think who would hire this service. Norman
Bates comes to mind. |
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I say coy and sarcastic because I take you for a
sufficiently intelligent individual,
[vfrakis]. As such, it's coy
to not address the Oedipal nature of the idea, and
it's sarcastic to say that such natures are the 'best
part' now, when its clear that drunk matching
tattoos is the best part. |
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Needless to say, coyness and sarcasm are the two
dominating characteristics of the demi-troll (I,
myself, have made several attempts and we all do
from time to time, it's a hell of a lot of fun). The
troll has two further dominating characteristics:
rude and ignorant. Nothing fun about that. Also, I
really have no idea what
I'm talking about and thanks for not deleting my
drivel, yet. I stand by it at any rate. |
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After reading morrison's post about Norman Bates, Norman Bates comes to mind. |
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"Mother doesn't get out much, these days ....." |
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At last! I was ok with it [+] until I heard [xandram]'s compelling argument. Bone! [-] (I'm giving the bun corsage to her mother.) |
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It would seem that your mother's promiscuity has again caused her to turn up here on the 'bakery. |
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Beer soaked and very very much impersonated. |
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Can I get someone to impersonate your mother instead of mine? |
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Or one of those darned bullies at school? |
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I should probably stop posting ideas here for free.
See link: rent a mon |
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As for the eighth anno above, I don't seem to
have written anything at all, let alone Batesian. |
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The plot is lost. Or I have a ghost writer I didn't
know about? |
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