h a l f b a k e r yNormal isn't your first language, is it?
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The metered ear system allows you to control the audio content that enters your brain through a pay-per-hear system. When a person talks to you their unique voice imprint is recognized by the hearing system. For extra security they might need to speak a short pass-phrase. Until the pass phrase is uttered
you hear nothing. Your ears are shielded from all noise by high-grade custom-formed ultra dense foam earplugs.
Once the phrase is uttered you ear plugs open up and a timer starts. This allows you to keep track of how much “hear-time” your customer (or ex-boyfriend) has used. These funds are automatically charged to the talker’s credit card. If you don’t have a credit card you can by “listening cards” you enter a password on the and save a voice passcode and you can get people with “metered ears” to listen to you.
A green LED (very small and sleek) on the side of the ear displays the rate. For example: $0.05 this is the cost per second for listening. The price is dynamic. You can set it to a single value or you can allow it to auto-adjust based on the average demand for your ears at various times of day in various places (using a little GPS)
The result?
No one talks to you unless you get paid.
The world could be such a wonderful place.
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Annotation:
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I like this an aweful lot. Could I adjust my rates according to the person that I'm listening to? |
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Oh, and, that'll be $.15 please... |
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I think there is a law that forbids setting different prices for people-- though you might make the case that some people are much harder to listen to than others. |
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The ear plugs should be connected with a tube or wire behind the head so that when turned off, everything said, "goes in one ear and out the other." |
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How to ensure no one ever speaks to you, driving you off into a lifetime of solitude and madness. I like. |
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people would stop ringing the Samaritans. |
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when not active, another option would be to cover the ears with fake hands, palm out, so that the unwanted speaker is talking to the hand (coz the ears aren't listening). |
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