h a l f b a k e r yGo ahead. Stick a fork in it.
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kiddy warnings
a way to prevent you from being tripped over by small children | |
Come school holidays shopping areas and Town centers are filled with short children who seem to like nothing more than being a tripping hazard by stepping infront of you then stopping.
i propose that all children be made to wear platform shoes and flourecent stove pipe hats so that they are more
visible. these shoes and hats would be combined with the child's height to bring them upto eye level for the average adult, say about 5'6".
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I'm Torn between the comical vision of children in Cat-in-the-Hat hats, and twisted ankles, and never, never shopping in England. |
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Might be simpler just to have them wear flags, like some bicyclists do. Of course, there's always the danger of getting your eye poked out by a child flag. |
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Tie the short little-uns to balloons, and fill gonflable's with helium. |
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Id prefer to see the adults wearing oversize shoes with soft rubber soles, so that they could step on these nearly invisible children without undue worry. |
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in a vain plea for buns should I add Custard and Fuzzy felt? |
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This still wouldn't prevent the little rug monsters from head-butting men in tender areas. But, it's a start. [+] |
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I would call that head-groining. |
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A personal pet hate of mine. I'm not sure this would work too well, but i'll give you a bun for the mental image. |
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I tend to get the rabbit in headlights effect, when they see me looming in full stride. It's usually up to their mothers to swiftly yank them out the way before they get trodden underfoot. |
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(I'm not even going to touch Klaatu's last comment...) |
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//in a vain plea for buns should I add Custard and Fuzzy felt?// |
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Custard filled high heels and fuzzy felt scaffolding. |
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What about those bike flags kids used to have? |
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kidney warnings for barflys. |
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the adults could wear very spikey shoes of some kind, which would make it both safe and fun to step on english children. |
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Safe? Fun? Only English children? |
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