jammed photocopier voodoo dolls

this photocopier has a bottom drawer with a difference - instead of it being loaded with paper, it is full of little ragdolls; each ragdoll resembles very slightly a member of staff and contains a small item personal to that person e.g. a lock of hair or a toe clipping obtained at the job interview.

the dolls are laid out neatly in rows and electronically attached to the machine and linked to the identifying pin number entered at the start of each photocopying session.

should the photocopier jam, the operator must attempt to clear the jam and not proceed to walk stealthily away, whistling nonchalantly as these nefarious characters are prone to do. No, they must make a fair fist of clearing the jam or at the very least, confess their predicament to someone with the authority to ring for an engineer or who is equipped with a pair of tweezers.

on jamming, this photocopier starts a countdown of a duration as specified by the person who set up the copier’s parameters probably the same person who knows the engineer’s number and/or possesses the office tweezers. the countdown will be displayed on the copier’s counter.

anyway, if the countdown finishes before any unjamming manoeuvres are attempted or before the tweezer-wielding office mechanic type person presses the ‘abort’ button then the copier’s back-up mechanism will unceremoniously – no, sod that, a nice trumpet fanfare will herald the delivery of several staples into the soft centre of the appropriate voodoo doll.