h a l f b a k e r yAssume a hemispherical cow.
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fashion models and screen stars with beautiful figures and flawless complexions lie awake nights worrying that the gossip columns will be suggesting that their magazine and film photographs are, ahem, touched up. all this worry causes premature wrinkling and is bad for business.
to counteract this
cause for concern, photographs could be slightly modified to add a few interesting and dignified imperfections. digitally add a small pimple here and there or perhaps a small scar which would provoke interest in perhaps an otherwise boring glimpse of breast.
perhaps, add on just a couple of pounds to the hips, creating a flutter of excitement with the hint of an unexpected pregnancy?
the hair could be made to look just slightly greasy and a trace of tomato ketchup around the mouth would bring a certain charming girl/boy next door quality to our favourite people.
Miss Digital
http://www.missdigitalworld.com/
[kbecker, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
Stunt woman for Barbie
http://www.cindyjackson.com/
[kbecker, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
Celebrities with & without makeup
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/celeb.html
[krelnik, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
Bikini model before & after digital retouching
http://homepage.mac...l/bikini/index.html
(requires JavaScript be enabled for the rollover effects to work) [krelnik, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
Blonde model example
http://homepage.mac...l/blonde/index.html
(Same site, also requires JavaScript) [krelnik, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
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Yes, but they are not "normal." |
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Miss Digital World (link) won't have such problems. Soon there won't be any human models left, only some stunt models for situation where digital just won't do. Stunt models can be replaced with new ones when they wear out. |
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I thought Barbie did her own stunts. |
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Miss Digital is slightly cross-eyed. my dad liked that in a woman, he really was a very strange man. |
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Po, I know what you mean. Like when I met this guy at a charity function. He was good-looking, really good-looking, but I wasn’t attracted to him at first, because he was just too attractive, too perfect. But we got to talking, and it turned out he wasn’t perfect at all. He was unemployed, had all sorts of mental problems, and was a fugitive in five states, stuff like that. It was a real turn-on, so I took him home. And then he comes out of the bathroom, naked, and he’s an Adonis. I say, so where’s the horrible disfiguring scar, and he says I can’t see it because of the lighting. But later I went through his wallet and checked him out. Tuned out the guy was a billionaire, no mental problems, no criminal activity. Shit! When I confronted him, he was as smooth as Cary Grant. He even told me he loved me. Well, you can imagine my reaction! I had to kill him. There was nothing else I could do. |
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And he's buried right in your back yard. <G&R> |
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That's rough, [plute]. You sure got my sympathy. |
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plute, funniest thing I have read in ages & such insight to female psychology (what is that all about, eh?) |
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people get into those magazines because of their looks.. If you want "stars" with imperfections, check out *Average Joe* |
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vurt, somehow I think you have missed the *point* |
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pu, so instead of having the gossip columnist commenting on their "touch ups" to make them more appealing, your gonna use "touch ups" to make them less? hmm... Couldn't they comment on that? |
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& how petty would *that* sound? |
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But if women don't have these images of perfection to aspire to, how will they find meaning in their lives? Cooking and cleaning might not be enough for ALL women? (please note the sarcastic tone). |
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lol. even with the sarcastic tone, po's gonna getcha for that remark :) |
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Wouldn't top models then just fret
about whether their last
photo-shoot made them look
scarred and pimply enough? |
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And here I was thinking this was going to be some awkward linguistic thing on negating imperfective tenses... |
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//photographs are, ahem, touched up//
I think the premise here is flawed. Pretty much every glamour magazine cover, advertising artwork, movie poster and other deliberately released photo is in fact touched up already. There's no "ahem" about it, everyone knows it. |
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krel, ahem *touched up* over here means something ahem, different!
I appreciate why you may not have come across this usage of the phrase. |
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[after a quick trip to a slang dictionary] Ah yes, I see. But you used that term in your idea, is that what you meant? |
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There goes my crush on Christina Applegate. |
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Dang, and here I thought it was a new form of speech. |
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krel, its just not a phrase I use that often :) |
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Added a couple of other links that show the typical amount of retouching that is done already. Celebs do not fear it, they insist on it. |
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