h a l f b a k e r yInvented by someone French.
add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random
news, help, about, links, report a problem
browse anonymously,
or get an account
and write.
register,
|
|
|
Please log in.
Before you can vote, you need to register.
Please log in or create an account.
|
by understanding and exercising our facial muscles, we can keep our faces toned and youthful it just takes some practice and patience.
every day, look in the mirror and repeat mirror mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all? if you get a reply, take two aspirin and go have a lie
down.
our frontalis muscle runs vertically along our forehead. it raises our eyebrows and helps us frown. say Roger Moore, Roger Moore over and over again. this will prevent eyebrow droop and forehead lines. (Roger Rabbit is a viable alternative).
our orbicularis oris is sometimes known as the kissing muscle. it is a circular muscle that closes your mouth and puckers your lips when it contracts. say push, push over and over again until you feel quite relaxed and in the mood for a snog.
the buccinators are broad, thin, quadrilateral muscles which are located in the space between the jaws at the side of the face. they are responsible for sucking movements and are very strong in babies.
say sloop, sloop pronounced sloooop, sloooop with a sharp intake of breath - repeat until you feel the sloop sloop song coming on and then pack it in quick, you might have overdone things and we dont want a strained buccinator, do we?
the risorius muscles vary considerably in size and shape; the action of the risorius muscles is to retract the angle of the mouth and are the ones used in smiling and laughing. a photographer may ask you to say sausages or cheese to encourage a natural smile and they should know; so look in the mirror and say sausages, sausages until you realise how silly you look and start laughing never fails.
there are many more muscles to play with but these are a fine start to your beauty therapy. next weeks lesson involves the depressor labii inferioris.
why are you pouting? I said we will do that next week, promise!
Gurning
http://www.halfbakery.com/idea/Gurning For every thing... gurn, gurn, gurn... there is a season... gurn, gurn, gurn... [bungston, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]
[link]
|
|
// stay beautiful by talking to yourelf // |
|
|
can't I talk to yours - she seems more interesting. |
|
|
I took your advice for looking younger, and all I got was this stupid straitjacket. |
|
|
now where did I say do it in the shop window? |
|
|
I'd much rather kiss, sloop a drink, talk about Roger Moore with a fan or laugh at something funny. Why do I have to do these things alone? Do _your_ eyebrows go up when you say "Roger Moore"? |
|
|
RM, its an association thing. |
|
|
What do I say for a six-pack and tight buns? |
|
|
Ooh - OOOOoOooh - yes YES! JEZEEZUS-TAPDANCING CHRIST!!! ? Is that what you're supposed to say? |
|
|
"stay beautiful by talking to yourelf" - so this is all just your excuse to talk to yourself? |
|
|
well I am certainly not going to start gurning for goodness sake. thank you bungston - for the link. |
|
|
Gurn back the hands of time? |
|
|
I was just about to post an idea with that title, but a precursive HB search led me to this, all-too-similar idea. |
|
|
nonsense, poppycok, and etc. |
|
| |