h a l f b a k e r yI CAN HAZ CROISSANTZ?
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euro hosiery
Legs been westernized? Look European in Seconds! | |
So your relatives from Eastern Europe have given you a weeks notice that they're coming to visit! Oh my God! My legs are clean-shaven! Not to worry-With new euro-hosiery your legs will be hairy in seconds! Made from genuine human hair and regular nylon hosiery.
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hairy legs... eeew...! Couldn't you just tell your Eastern European relatives that you've broken with your past, and now live free and shaven, and if they can't live with that, then there's no real reason to come and visit you anyway. |
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I'm sure they'll understand. After all, that's what family's for. |
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And when my American relatives come to visit, I'll get out my "fat-suit". |
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Score 1 - 0 for Jim =) Good one! |
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As for the hairy legs, I've seen a lot more of those at one of the America's finest Universities, then in my provincial hometown in Southeastern Europe, a.k.a. The Balkans. |
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an even more effective solution would be if it came in a roll, like masking tape. One side would be sticky, the other side would be all furry. You'd roll it out onto your legs, fluff, and enjoy. As an added bonus, if you had to wear it for a few days, when you peeled it off you'd wax your legs in the process. |
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Armpit-hair wigs could also come in handy, as well as plain old false beards and mustaches for the guys. |
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But this idea generalizes to shorter distances as well. If my relatives from the South visit, I'll need to get out the sunless-tanning skin dye and stick-on carcinomas; if I visit them, they'll have to lighten their skin to a faintly greenish tone with powder and get out the artificial rickets kit. |
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