h a l f b a k e r yIf ever there was a time we needed a bowlologist, it's now.
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It's very simple really. If Scotland is a drag on the British
economy, then we English ought to be telling them they are
independent, rather than asking them.
If, on the other hand, it's a bonus to the economy then we
ought to get a fair price for Scotland. We should therefore
be accepting
bids from other countries.
Buckie
http://en.wikipedia...Buckfast_Tonic_Wine
What scotchmen drink when they can't get meths or brake fluid ... [8th of 7, Feb 12 2014]
Clear_20UK_20national_20debt_2e
concept discussed at length on this idea, which also includes hilarious jokes about Scotland and Scots which might be silvikrined and put on display in this new ebay version. [calum, Feb 12 2014]
[link]
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Would we just be bidding on the real estate, or does the auction
include the sitting tenants ? |
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Unoccupied nice-looking mountainous sub-Arctic landmass with sea
views, yes. 5 million belligerent, uncouth, incomprehensible drunks
...? No. |
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I think we'd just be selling the property. Tenants
would have to negotiate a new agreement with the
future owners. |
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OK, we'd bid on that. Wikipedia refers to something described as the
"highland clearances". We see no particular practical objection to
repeating the process for the entire country. |
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Apparently a lot of the displaced carbon units ended up in the USA
and the colonies. Clearly some sort of retrospective apology might be
a good idea, if only to lull them into a false sense of security, ready for
the next herd. |
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We've got Newfoundland so we're covered for rocky islands with stereotypical incomprehensible inebriants. Wales looks interesting though: can we trade Vancouver ? or Toronto ? it includes an historical hockey team. |
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Just send $3.19 in used tram tickets and you can come and take it
away. |
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Very soon. As soon as possible. |
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In fact, forget the payment ... when and where can we drop it off ? |
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//it is England that is being disposed of // |
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Of what, exactly ? The national equivalent of chronic septic
hemorrhoids ? |
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When we first read the title, we thought the idea was for a trading
website where instead of paying, the 'purchasers' simply got tanked
up on Buckie <link> before smashing the window with their forehead
and helping themselves to whatever they wanted ... |
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//Wales looks interesting // |
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We've got it jacked up and the tow rope attached. Let us know if you're
in. |
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Just swing it 'round the Cape and park it anywhere on the west coast. Don't mind the natives, if they even notice. If you can't actually remove Vancouver at least bury it. |
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Yeah ... OK ... errr ... gonna need some kind of a toxic waste permit for
that ... |
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There's technically no permit required for burying "smug". Very well then, just drop it next to Nova Scotia somewheres - can't let a couple thousand years of sheepshit infused earth go to waste. I suppose you'll be wanting us to take the inhabitants too... that'll be extra: for that you get Quebec. |
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//for that you get Quebec.// |
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Oh, sorry, that should be "MERCY !" |
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//can't let a couple thousand years of sheepshit infused earth go to
waste // |
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Don't worry, Molson are always in the market for feedstock and
flavour enhancers. You didn't believe the fairy story about how the
Deepwater Horizon blowout was plugged, did you ? Did you notice
how, when sulphurous salty toxic contaminants stopped being
spewed out into the Gulf of Mexico, coincidentally Molson launched a
new product line ? |
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//we English ought to be telling them they are independent// |
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A few years ago I thought of the ideal way to reduce the crime rate. |
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We just look for the regions that contribute the most to the official crime statistics, and grant them their independence, thus getting them off the official tally. |
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ebay takes a fairly large commission. If you sell it too cheap, you might start a war or a feud at least. Shipping something that size will be very expensive, suggest you use the stop by and pick it up option. |
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