Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Strap *this* to the back of your cat.

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departee popper

 Go out with a bang
  (+7)
(+7) 		  [vote for,
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In sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life through our Lord Jesus Christ, we commend to Almighty God our brother/sister <name>; and we commit his/her body to the ground; earth to air to earth; ashes to ashes, dust to dust. The Lord bless him/her and keep him/her, the Lord make his/her face to shine upon him/her and be gracious unto him/her and give him/her pieces. Amen.
Grunt
Whew
Grunt
Snap
Damn, <name> either this giant departee popper is a dud or I just broke your ar- *BLAM*
—thumbwax, Jul 02 2002

Funeral Party Poppers http://www.halfbake...ral_20Party-Poppers
Similar sentiment, but without the ashes. Comes with a shameless plug, though. [[ sctld ], Jul 02 2002]

Ash Scattering with Fireworks http://www.celebratelife.net/
Ashes scattered by fireworks. Your loved one will light up the sky. [polartomato, Jul 02 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]


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Annotation:







       Baked - well, sort of. Kimbolton Fireworks and TPL (both in the UK) have both already packaged cremated ashes into large calibre firework mortar shells, the deceased then being "fired" to 1000 feet and "going out in a blaze of glory" as part of a firework show.
—8th of 7, Jul 02 2002
   

       Wow, what a fiery reception.
—polartomato, Jul 02 2002
   

       This is for a low level display similar to a party/champagne popper not to exceed 50 yards/metres.
—thumbwax, Jul 02 2002
   

       I hope there's no prize inside.
—waugsqueke, Jul 02 2002
   

       Thumbwax: There are devices called Confetti Cannons which would do this; basically just a thick-walled fireproofed cardboard tube with a wooden bung nailed in one end, like a firework mortar but shorter and a larger bore. You put a No.2 or No.3 stage maroon in the bottom, then a wad, then a few handfulls of fireproof confetti. A nice effect. I have never yet seen one of these used to scatter the ashes of the dear departed one, but it's quite practical to do it. Cost would work out about GBP £3 - £5 a shot, depending on the size of the maroon you used. The tube is reuseable for weddings, christenings etc. Important note: clean tube throughly before re-use.   

       50 metres is a bit ambitions. I would expect the cloud to disperse and start to settle after 10 - 15 metres at the most based on previous experience with these things .... unless there were any large lumps in the load.
—8th of 7, Jul 02 2002
   

       These Confetti Cannons - can you stuff an entire human - whether intact or chunk-style into it?
—thumbwax, Jul 02 2002
   

       just invite AfroAssault, QB and notripe to this party and I am out of here. what's a stage moron? is that the idiot you drag out of the audience for make-look-a-plonker purposes?
—po, Jul 02 2002
   

       Intact? Chunky? Creamy is the best kind. Not too good in boxed launches, though.
—polartomato, Jul 02 2002
   

       "Some disassembly required."   

       Don't think an entire person would fit into one of the things 8th of 7 is describing: you'll probably need several. hmm...21 potato cannon salute?
—nick_n_uit, Jul 03 2002
   

       Thumbwax: Well, you can get cardboard-tube firework mortars up to 36 inches diameter fairly easily (no cheap though) so I guess the answer is yes. Calibres up to 12 inches are common. I guess the limiting factors for "disassembly" would be the head and the pelvis in most cases. Skulls are pretty tough.   

       po: Stage Moron is a crew term for an "ac-tor", luvvie. The ones you drag out of the audience are called "victims". Stage Maroons are a small firework, usually with electric igniton, that goes BANG very loudly when fired. Apparently the name comes from the French word "Marron" (chestnut) which the early versions resembled.   

       nick_n_uit: Children will fit in 10 inch mortars. Tape their arms above their heads for better aerodynamics. Firing potatoes is great fun and amazingly damaging. Apples are even better, especaialy if green, unripe and hard; quite capable of penetrating the average wooden shed, or putting severe dents in car panels. Tip: Don't fire them vertically when you are standing next to the mortar and there is little or no wind. Gravity is a terrible thing ..... It is also possible to fire beercans from 65mm tubes.
—8th of 7, Jul 03 2002
   

       The name alone is wonderful, but how big is one of those poppers? Can I have mine with jalapeno? +
—sartep, Jul 28 2003
   


 

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