h a l f b a k e r yPoint of hors d'oevre
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Slip your shoes into the hinges and you can eat while resting
assured that no crumbs or soup will hit the rug.
When you're done, take them to the kitchen and dust them off
into the garbage can.
[link]
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Or dust them into your drink and enjoy a smoothie. |
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Something like a whole-body crumbly foods consumption bag might be good; climb inside, sit down, eat, stand up, shake and brush, step out. Then empty the bag in an appropriate receptacle. |
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Actually, it could just seal round the waist* and enclose the entire upper body, with a "pouch" at the front to catch the crumbs. |
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*Excessive consumption on crumbly foods may result in this body feature being unavailable for the typical user. |
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The crumbly food could be sealed in an edible sachet and swallowed whole |
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You'd need a succession of sachets. |
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What about a crumbly food bag that contains both the wearer and the food ? |
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Don bag, fastening around waist*. If unfamiliar with the technology, a video of the cabin-crew this-is-your-lifejacket type demonstration is available. |
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Open inner pouch to reveal foodstuff. Eat. Brush any remains back into pouch. Remove bag and discard. |
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Optional DeLuxe version has a beverage included with the food in a separate container. |
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Super DeLuxe version has a straw extending through the bag to allow access to an external beverage container, and crumb-proof filter to permit the wearer to breathe outside air. |
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Also useful as impromptu rainwear. |
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//into the garbage can// There in 4 words is all that is wrong with Western so-called "civilisation". You could feed a family of four for a week on those crumbs*. You could bake them into delicious gourmet desserts. You could set up a reprocessing factory, providing employment for thousnads of people in your area, regenerating the local economy, leading to an economic and cultural renaissance, producing great works of literature, spurring a whole host of ancilliary support industries, some of which eventually provide cutting egde technology allowing manned exploration of the solar system and utimately the saving of Humanity after the extinction of the sun. But no, //dust them off into the garbage can//. |
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I should add that my third sentence is referring to the crumbs, not the family. I apologise for any inconvenience cause by misunderstanding. |
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<Crumples up draft articles of association for The Soylent Corporation and flings at wastepaper basket/> |
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// utimately the saving of Humanity after the extinction of the sun. // |
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Don't worry about that, that rogue asteroid is going to cause the next Mass Extinction long before your primary reaches the Red Giant phase. |
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<Checks current trajectory of "that rogue asteroid", makes minute tweak to pressor beam/> |
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//Slip your shoes into the hinges// |
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I'm glad you don't get that either. I don't think I have hinges. I
have hips and knees, and other joints that work like hinges,
but nothing like real hinges, I don't believe. |
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Upgrades are available. Please download our brochure. |
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