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contact lenses for sad dogs

 A method to make my dog look cheerier
 
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Puppies are wonderful things, but when I look in the eyes of my [adult] dog, I feel the walls of grief come crashing down on me. I named my first dog "Odysseus", my next "Job", and I became too depressed to name the third. That pair of moist brown orbs pull me into a black hole of hopelessness.

I suggest what is needed is a set of blue-colored contact lenses with very small irises (OK, "irese" for you lingo-snobs). This would turn my "Heart of Darkness" dog into a "Disney" dog. I would change his name to "Skippy!"

—musicator, Aug 19 2003


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Annotation:







       Get huskies?
—bungston, Aug 19 2003
   

       Fishbone for cruelty to animals.
—Cedar Park, Aug 20 2003
   

       "irese?" I can find no reference to that word, in English, anyway. Is it a medical/botanical term?
—bristolz, Aug 20 2003
   

       Main Entry: 1iris
Pronunciation: 'I-r&s
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural iris·es or iri·des /'I-r&-"dEz, 'ir-&-/
Etymology: Middle English, from Latin irid-, iris rainbow, iris plant, from Greek, rainbow, iris plant, iris of the eye -- more at WIRE
Date: 15th century
1 : RAINBOW
2 [New Latin irid-, iris, from Greek] a : the opaque contractile diaphragm perforated by the pupil and forming the colored portion of the eye -- see EYE illustration b : IRIS DIAPHRAGM; also : a similar device with a circular opening that can be varied in size
3 or plural iris [New Latin Irid-, Iris, genus name, from Latin] : any of a large genus (Iris of the family Iridaceae, the iris family) of perennial herbaceous plants with linear usually basal leaves and large showy flowers
—DeathNinja, Aug 20 2003
   

       Skippy is peanut butter.
—Shz, Aug 20 2003
   

       I bet they're more "secret sharer" than "heart of darkness".
—Zimmy, Aug 20 2003
   

       I think what you are really searching for is a counselor. Don't blame your dog...
—k_sra, Aug 20 2003
   

       Counselor? What are you talking about? My dog IS my counselor!   

       <Ninja> I stand corrected. The plural of "axis" is "axes", so I just used that same rule, but maybe that only applies to Latin root words. Ah never sed I wuz an English majur.
—musicator, Aug 20 2003
   

       Don't know when I've been so blue
Don't know what's come over you
You've found someone new
And don't it make my brown eyes blue
I'll be fine when you're gone
I'll just cry all night long
Say it isn't true
And don't it make my brown eyes blue
  

      
Tell me no secrets, tell me some lies
Give me no reasons, give me alibis
Tell me you love me and don't let me cry
Say anything but don't say goodbye
I didn't mean to treat you bad
Didn't know just what I had
But honey now I do

And don't it make my brown eyes,
don't it make my brown eyes
Don't it make my brown eyes blue.
Crystal Gayle?
—sufc, Aug 20 2003
   


 

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