h a l f b a k e r yWhat was the question again?
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Maybe if the maximum speed of the car is inversely proportional to the aggression of the driver, then the roads would have a lot more calmer drivers. |
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CAR-9000: "I am detecting significant voice-stress patterns. Perhaps you should take a stress pill and think this over."| — | centauri,
Sep 19 2000, last modified Sep 20 2000 |
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CAR-9001.1:" I am detecting significant voice-stress patterns. I will now administer intra-muscular sedative." An ominous whirring can now be heard emanating from beneath the drivers seat. |
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It should be noted that the defects in CAR-9001 have been overcome in the latest release, and drivers can be assured that the tendency for the Anti-Roadrage Sedative Energiser to apply multiple doses once the vehicle reached certain speeds are no longer a factor in unexplained crashes. |
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Fords would always have a full tank. |
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Old people would finally have a good reason for driving slow |
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And would provide fuel for everyone else... |
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...though naturally the professional auto-racing community (especially the drag racers) would have to find ways to increase performance by increasing their stress levels. Maybe they'd have Dirty Dozens insult matches before the race, or quaff an aggression cocktail beforehand (say, a double shot of rotgut, followed by a jigger of testosterone with a dash of caffeine?). |
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Hot-rodder hackers already exist -- I knew of one who cracked the code that governed the Mercedes fuel-injection system and rewrote it for greater acceleration. One would simply hack the stress processor and make it work backward so the madder you got, the faster you'd go. At least some of them would probably accelerate out of the gene pool... |
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Yeah. I'm thinking I'd be doing about 200 MPH. |
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Looks like the anti-wibni controls have tightened up a few turns since this. |
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not really but its a lovely title. I am giving it a post -dated croissant for that. |
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It seems this thing would simply accelerate to warp speed; after you crossed into the 'God help us all we're going to DIE' zone, the car would interpret your state as a desire to simply speed up the more. |
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Awhile back in Popular Science, some Japanese auto company, I believe it was Honda, developed a tiny little car for the fun of it called the Screamer. You'd scream into the attached microphone, and an amplifier would carry the signal to the motor. The louder you yelled, the faster it went. |
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Car 9001 and Car 9002 have a built-in-spouse? |
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