h a l f b a k e r yWith moderate power, comes moderate responsibility.
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A website plus a peripheral. The website,
www.canweaveyourliverthen.com , bears content to
render
your self-esteem and sense of significance non-existent
and
makes you want to do yourself in. Then you click/tap on
the
"yes" button and the peripheral kicks into life, creating a
sterile
field, removing your vital organs and bagging
them up
in sterile containers, which then slip down a chute into a
collection point. An automated SMS message is then
sent to
the harvesters and a van comes round and picks them up
for
donation.
Alternatively, your liver is spaghettified and woven
together into a meaty jumper, but that's only if you've
accidentally gone to the wrong website
(www.canweaveyourliver.org)
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Onions are compulsory, however a little chili is optional. |
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Garlic. There must be garlic. |
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No, bacon is taking things too far. That's like those people who add half a pint of cream to every single type of soup they make. |
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that is, if you are done wearing it. |
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So is cream in soup. Doesn't mean it's not excessive though. |
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Liver and bacon is one of the greatest liver-and-
bacon combinations there is. |
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Only one of them though. And sorry, but it's
definitely "canweaveyourliverthen", not
"canweHaveyourliverthen". |
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It's up there with "penisland.net" and
"whorepresents.com" |
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I'd like my liver woven into a lovely stringy placemat
only I'd like it done some time in the past, where do I
sign? |
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[Max] ...and www.powergenitalia.com |
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" The liver is evil and must be punished " |
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[hippo] ah, but powergenitalia.com doesn't exist
(well, it does, but only slightly). |
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Incidentally, [nineteenthly], you have not
clarified whether you are despondent, or whether
this website you propose is intended for the
benefit of others. |
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I counsel against desponding. Drinking is far
better, in my experience, as are many of the
newer pharmaceuticals. Both together is, in my
experience, a winning combination. |
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If you are still drawn toward despondency, best to
start writing poetry and capitalize on it. Or
develop a vengeful streak and thereby find a
useful outlet. |
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