h a l f b a k e r yThis ain't rocket surgery.
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This was inspired from a David Letterman Top Ten List.
The reasoning being, while this may not end work place violence this may cut down on bystander mortalities. A would be gun man would would have to go cube to cube for widspread destruction.
Also, if you are not the intended victim there
a chance if you curl up in you cube then you wouldn't get shot.
Sniper Perch for Modern Office Workspaces
http://www.halfbake...Office_20Workspaces
Another half-baked approach to the same problem. [Aristotle, Mar 12 2001, last modified Oct 17 2004]
jwz's tent of doom
http://www.jwz.org/tent-of-doom/net1.jpg
It's a jungle out there. [jutta, Mar 12 2001]
[link]
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How about bullet proof desks....the ones with the cubbyhole underneath...you could crawl under your desk and pull down a bullet proof curtain to completely conceal yourself. May be most useful for middle managers.... (I'm thinking of the Seinfeld episode where George designed his desk so that he could sleep under it) |
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I've heard or read somewhere that hiding under your desk is not the safest thing to do during a workplace shooting spree. However, with the innovations suggested here . . . |
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All employees should have a button in their cube which is wired to a bundle of explosive which, if set off, will completely demolish the building, killing everybody. Mutually assured destruction. |
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If the person goes from cube to cube shooting I would recommend the bullet proof cubicle walls allow evacuation for such a circumstance. This way intra-cubical walls could allow people to flee contrary to the direction of the gunperson. This was as he walks down the corridor people would have increasingly escaped to an adjacent open-plan corridor and fled. You would have to ensure that such an escape is silent and it all takes place below the height of the cubicle walls. You could have drills for this. |
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However the gunperson will generally know the methods used (because he or she worked there) and thus will try to find a way to outwit them. |
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I believe it makes more sense to prepare everyone for the possibility of a random shooting instead of wasting money on bullet-proof cubes that can be easily entered and rendered ineffective. We are all required to go through various programs at work such as Diversity Training, Team Building Exercises, and other developmental events that contribute to a healthy and happy work environment. I propose that we add a new program: Commando Training, to prepare us for the increasingly likely event of a random shooting in our place of employment. Each participant could learn how to place other people in front of him/her to avoid being in harm's way. Camoflage uniforms could be worn so that we blend in with the cubicles and copy machines to reduce the liklihood of being randomly selected by a gunman. Press-preparedness techniques could be developed to ensure that all after-event media interviews would reflect everyone's surprise that the perpetrator could be capable of such atrocities, since he/she is known to be such a good person. And human resource personnel could practice scripted explanations as to how such a person was hired in the first place. |
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A computer that keeps track of where everybody is, so the shooter could go directly to the piece of garbage would be better ( and cheaper )! Can I list the pieces of garbage ? Can I ? Can I ? |
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[KindlyRat]: Only if you let them list you. |
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