h a l f b a k e r yKeep out of reach of children.
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Many adults never learned how to swim,
yet all have the
innate ability to do so from birth. This is
proven by those
who give birth under water, their
offspring propelling
themselves like tadpoles in their new
found liquid medium.
The idea is to reawaken this ability, that
otherwise
lies
dormant in every adult. Those
undertaking the training are
taken to a cocoon like pod, the interior of
which recreates
as closely as possible a sensory replica of
time spent in the
womb.
Once safely zipped inside the pod, a
distant heart
beat, along with all the other warm and
pleasant sensations
of pre-birth, surround the trainee, who
soon drifts off into
a euphoric sleeping state. Alpha rhythms
and other vital
signs are closely monitored until the
optimum conditions
arrive, matching that of a baby's just
before
birth. At this point the
pod is programmed to contract, forcing
the adult through a
narrow orifice that is connected to the
wall of a swimming
pool.
The adult emerges under water, their
instinct for
swimming ability instantly re-activated.
They paddle happily
away, more frog than tadpole, but
nevertheless Born Again
Swimmingly.
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Annotation:
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If it's not good we'll be waiting for you in front of your house with pitchforks and flaming torches. But I'm sure you won't disappoint us. |
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Did anybody think to check the time? He says it's evening, but the halfbakery being temporally polylocal and all... |
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Are you sure you aren't just raising the expectations for your idea. Hopefully it will be good. Otherwise we'll set [Mach] on you. |
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This is a joint effort, you'll be coming with me, [h_t]. We'll roast hot dogs later and talk about how fun it was storming [xen]'s house. |
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in the style of [benfrost] |
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It just sits here like a sign that's placed in front of a private car parking space. |
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[marked–fer–deletion], widely known to exist, in the mind of xenzag. |
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This is probably the first idea to get MFD'd before actually being posted. |
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I think I can hear a car coming up the drive. |
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It could set the record for most fishbones removed. |
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What no benefit of the doubt? I say, all ideas are innocent until proven guilty. + temporary optimist croissant :-) |
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It's fitting that it's about swimming, and then leaving the equivalent of a towel on the deck-chair. |
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Clearly it’s about water birth, or fish that soli-… um, or soliciting fish. |
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maybe he was baptised in the river Jordan. |
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It's about the aquatic ape |
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or reincarnating as a dolphin |
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Baptist swimming-pool church services? |
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And in Jesus' name, thou shalt do 20 lengths for the glory of our ever merciful and benificient Lord.
And the sign said, may there be no spitting, or running by the pool. And there was none.
And the other sign said (with illustrations) let there be no smoking, or bombing, or petting.
And lo, there was none.
And everything was good.
And the Lifeguard did watcheth over them, and tell them to get out after their time was up because yea, their armband was orange.
And the blue armbanded school party came thronging into the pool for their 45 minutes, and it was good.
And there was much rejoicing and diving in off the side and getting in the way of the poor old pensioners who forgot that today was the school-pool day.
And yea the lifeguard did chat up the sixth-formers, and show them his muscles.
And yea, in the observation area, a boy read unto his comic books, because he had a veruca.
And it was good.
etc... |
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Fecking brilliant, [zt]. You should print that out and post it at public pools. |
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ps all welcome at my house any time - gates open and fire
permanently lit to dry out the new swimming team. |
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Ah! The idea arrives, excellent. |
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A question: is the pod filled with fake amniotic fluid, or similar and if so, how does the trainee breath? |
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of course, the problem is that babies, as opposed to adults, don't have any memories of: stories of people drowning, actually experiencing the panic of not being able to breathe, the worry about what all that water will do to one's expensive hairstyle, the knowledge that someone has probably pee'd in the water (or worse) etc. |
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& the idea of throwing newborn babies into the water to teach them to swim is an old one. |
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Babies have reflexes which neurologically typical adults haven't. I would think that babies can swim, and presumably this can be perpetuated if kept alive from an early age, because it's a primitive reflex. Primitive reflexes do return in adults, but only when they've had severe brain damage and are in a coma, which conjures up the image of comatose patients going for a swim. Maybe that could happen and also be a form of physiotherapy for them. |
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I suspect that at least some of the eleven fishbones are a reflex action prompted by clicking on an empty idea ("What a waste of my time [which is mildly ironic, in the context], arg! Fishbone!"). Plus, other users will filter an idea from their views by tagging it with a negative vote. Fundamentally, though, votes don't matter. |
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+ for the idea although I'm not too keen on being dumped into a swimming pool whilst I'm having a nice kip, I have to say. |
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I find the preemptive fish pile quite humorous. Betcha won’t do that again, though. :) Subtract one fish, as this certainly is halfbaked, but I'm staying neutral because I agree with [po] and [nineteenthly]. Don't delete it, it was fun. |
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I'm with [Shz] here [xenzag] please don't delete this one - I think it's fun, not just the idea itself, but the initial reactions to an initially empty idea - including [Shz]'s (purposefully borked) mfd tag. |
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Yep, it's not often the fishbones around these parts get to grin and sometimes, just sometimes they may bloom into a flakey pastry bun. |
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Interesting idea you've got here, [xen]! No weenie roast at your house after all. *sniff* |
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Have reversed my fishbone. I bet this would be reasonably easy to test. |
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