Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
There goes my teleportation concept.

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birdtable shoulderpads

an aid to deportment
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(+5, -1)
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this would not be everyone’s cup of tea, I know but this writer would enjoy the experience of having the bluebird of happiness flutter to my shoulder for a quick peck of breadcrumbs or perhaps a sip of water.

wild & free avian accessories would make a modern adornment to one’s fashion statement.

birdlovers attired in such a manner would be in the happy position to snap close-up pictures of their feathered friends as they all, literally, meander along life’s highway

po, Apr 24 2004

(??) shoulder perches http://www.bodyperch.com
possibly partly patented [Laughs Last, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Uncle Remus http://images.amazo...554.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg
Mr Bluebird on my shoulder... [Jinbish, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

[link]






       the birds... THE BIRDS!
jonthegeologist, Apr 24 2004
  

       With a chirp on your shoulder.
FarmerJohn, Apr 24 2004
  

       Po, I've been searching, and can't find such a thing. Nice idea. I had a neighbor who would chew up peanuts and spit them into her palm and hold it up and stand there till a bird or two would come to her hand.
dentworth, Apr 24 2004
  

       Include an option for a bear trap with large jagged jaws to snap down on the necks of pigeons that might land there!   

       Actually, our first real spring/summer days have arrived and I am listening to the birds outside my bedroom window. You hit my soft spot. [+]
Klaatu, Apr 24 2004
  

       Wonderful idea, apart from all the bird poop down your back.
DrCurry, Apr 24 2004
  

       we are talking Joan Collins here you know :)
po, Apr 24 2004
  

       What, bird poop foundation makeup?
FarmerJohn, Apr 24 2004
  

       In an older Simpson's episode, Homer goes to a(n American) Football game with Ned Flanders. He is given a giant sombrero hat tp wear that is made of tortilla and filled at the top with nacho cheese. While this has nothing to do with your idea, I thought I'd bring it up here. Suet covered birdseed cracker shoulder pads?
snikrepkire, Apr 24 2004
  

       Great, [po]! How about sodding the other side for squirrels and such? Sure you'd need an ear-cage to keep the little buggers from nibbling it off, but you'd get all the cute bits of spring right on your shoulders.
Letsbuildafort, Apr 24 2004
  

       Nice.
Colored sugar water filled earrings should grab the attention of a humming bird or two. Would take care of that bird poop down your back problem too.
  

       OhOhOH sugar-water filled earrings! Now I'm inspired!
dentworth, Apr 24 2004
  

       What happens when you go inside? Are we talking bird-table racks beside hatstands here? ( not that I have a hatstand, personally, but there must be some people out there who are into private detective-style hat tossing ) Special bird-table facilities outside restaurants and public buildings? Bird-friendly cafes? Or are these more of an early-morning-walks in-the-park, leave-'em-in-the-garage-when-you-get-home type thing ? Just wondering.
blueturtle, Apr 24 2004
  

       2fries/dentworth - that is great!
po, Apr 25 2004
  

       Cuttlefish earings for your budgie.
skinflaps, Apr 26 2004
  

       my budgie doesn't wear ear-rings.
po, Apr 26 2004
  

       You could have an australian style hat with, instead of corks, those seed/fat balls hanging from the brim to attract tits.   

       Stop sniggering at the back.
Gordon Comstock, Apr 26 2004
  

       if I gave you a bun, would you still have a chirp on your shoulder?
joking victim, Apr 27 2004
  

       Hamburger helmet for your larger feathered friends. +
sartep, Apr 27 2004
  

       Po, the pegleg pastry pirate does it again.
RayfordSteele, Apr 27 2004
  

       The upmarket version: "Avine Epaulettes"
hippo, Apr 28 2004
  
      
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