h a l f b a k e r yWhy not imagine it in a way that works?
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beeping badge
A badge that beeps when you hold it against things. | |
Imagine you're a thief or penetration tester who wants to
break into a modern badge-protected space. You've printed
out a fake badge from one of the many excited new hires who
posted a color photograph of theirs on the Internet, but of
course the badge doesn't actually scan by a badge reader.
Imagine that guards have been posted next to the badge
readers to make sure everybody actually scans their badge.
Enter the beeping badge. Just as another employee begins to
open the door ahead of you, you press yours against the
badge reader (or any other surface, but the guard doesn't
know that), and -- with a small delay for simulated round-trip
processing against a database -- a small piezo-electric
speaker in the badge beeps happily, courtesy of the same
space-age technology available in recordable greeting card
form. The guard sees and hears that you "scanned" your
"badge", and more likely than not holds the door for you.
"Good morning, M'am." -- "Good morning -- oh, I didn't get
your name--" "Bryan" -- "Is that with an I or a Y?" You note
down the datum for next time one of your co-workers needs
to try and impersonate a guard, and are on your merry way.
Badger
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Badger
These are the Dachs you're looking for ... [8th of 7, Dec 18 2018]
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Annotation:
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//Imagine you're a thief or penetration tester // I have
_always_ wanted to be a penetration tester. |
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One point: you will probably want a tuneable sound effect, to
ensure that yours doesn't sound like a boop against all the
other beeps. |
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Now if only it was a highly trained badger and not
just an inanimate badge. I think bringing a live
badger to work as a type of security pass would
deter all but the most desperate of intruders, and
nothing puts them off anyway. |
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"You don't need to see his mustelid ..." |
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This reminds me that years ago I did successfully make a working, fake access card for my university hall of residence, out of an old bank card, tinfoil and tape. Completely pointless, as I already had a legitimate access card, but fun anyway. |
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Burgling your own property can actually be highly instructive and useful. |
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It can also be employed to cause great confusion and hilarity. |
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.....especially if followed by arson to destroy the
evidence. |
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Yes, that's the best part ... |
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Great idea.... break into your own home, then
burn yourself out. |
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Convincing evidence of the break-in is vitally important; otherwise insurance companies can be horribly suspicious and distrustful. |
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When I first moved to London, I met someone who told me he never paid for bus journeys. He had a fake Oyster card and when boarding a bus, he would simply say "beep!" as he swiped the card and then found a seat. He was very confident in his vocal reproduction of the beep. |
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It must have been painfully obvious what he was doing. If it worked, I can only imagine that the bus driver was taking pity on him. |
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Perhaps he was faking the fakeness of it - using a real card and paying the charges, and speaking the word "beep" to drown out the sound of the card-reader reading his card? |
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// It must have been painfully obvious what he was doing. // |
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Not necessarily; you have clearly overestimated the abilities of the front line staff that TfL recruit by a measureable margin (we suspect four to five orders of magnitude). |
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Years ago, when it was LT, a chimpanzee escaped from a Chimp's Tea Party at London Zoo and somehow made his way into the Managing Director's office. However, being a chimp, all he could do was bang his hands on the furniture, make loud hooting noises (he coudn't manage coherent speech), drink tea, and pick fleas off the other board members. The zoo's search for their errant wildlife was unsuccessful, no-one at LT noticed, and the chimp retired after more than two decades of distinguished service with a knighthood, a fat pension, and a bunch of sinecure company directorships.
Of course it's all been downhill since then, because they went back to recruiting internally. Long serving staff still refer to the era when the operation was run by an incoherent escaped chimp as "The good old days". |
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When Ken Livingstone was ensconsed in County Hall, he actually hired the chimp as a consultant for a few weeks, but soon let him go because of his air of "overbearing intellectual superiority". |
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Parrots can learn to mimic many frequently-heard domestic sounds; microwave ovens, smoke alarms, telephones. |
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It's possible - but unlikely - that a TfL driver might notice a passenger swiping a live parrot against the card reader. |
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A dead parrot, however ... |
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