Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
This would work fine, except in terms of success.

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automatic trombone suitcase handle

Whap-whoa.
  (+6)
(+6)
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A cross between a roll-aboard suitcase with two or four wheels and a trombone. The further you push the handle in, the shorter the column of vibrating air, the higher the frequency of the played note.

(Changes in the handle length trigger a hidden pump mechanism that activates the musical instrument, creating the characteristic gliding notes in question.)

jutta, Jan 12 2019

Shameless self promotion Jimmy_20Shand_27s_20Bendybus
[calum, Jan 12 2019]

[link]






       Well, at least it's not in ... oh, wait, it's not.   

       I think the full tromobonatory effect could be difficult (expensive) to accomplish. A swanee whistle, though, would command the same respect for a fraction of the price.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 12 2019
  

       What about a "whoopee cushion" mechanism ? Embarrass the baggage handlers ...   

       "FHWARRRRRP" ...   

       "Jeez, Dan, what have you been eating ?"
8th of 7, Jan 12 2019
  

       I love trombones, so it's a natural winner for me. Now if it can make soup as well, it will be totally perfect. [+]
xenzag, Jan 13 2019
  

       A minimal amount of research indicates that the potential market for a combined trombone and soup-making machine is probably too small to justify the R & D plus putting it into production.   

       Astonishingly, the potential sales for a Smoothie Oboe seem to be enormous, but we are not convinced that the data (or rather, datum) is entirely reliable.
8th of 7, Jan 13 2019
  
      
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