h a l f b a k e r yThe embarrassing drunkard uncle of invention.
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to wear a tie or not to wear a tie that is the question.
on the one hand they (the medics) like to wear a tie (see, there must be something wrong with them in the first place) but these ties are universally filthy. it’s a bit weird but your average fella never ever washes his ties (probably something
to do with the fact that they are the very devil to iron) and in the course of a tie’s lifetime it will get covered in mouldering curries and tv snacks, will accumulate hairs from the pet cat and lord knows what else – these doctor types tend to lead quite sordid private lives.
the sensible thing for doctors, would be to refrain from wearing neckties altogether which would not routinely get dipped in blood plasma or be draped across each patient in turn during ward rounds, picking up various nasty germs and bacteria along the way which in turn will gorge greedily on the aforementioned curries and tv dinners and pet fur or indeed get lost inside a patient during operations but that is probably most unlikely. in fact, a doctors tie is probably statistically more likely to carry more germs than the average domestic toilet seat.
but then, doctors will argue that patients will not treat them in the reverential manner that they have become accustomed to. well, no, actually doctors wouldn’t argue that at all; they would say something quite different, along the lines of “the patients would not have the same feeling of confidence or trust in an open-shirted physician”.
of course, all this debate is missing the point entirely. what doctors * should * be doing is to be washing their hands more regularly. for goodness sake, we’ve known this fact for years now. where’s Flo Nightingale when you need her?
we should be equipping our doctors with fully disposable neckties (*with a nice pretty pattern on it) containing an inner compartment filled with antiseptic handwash and a small valve similar to a toothpaste nozzle at the bottom. they can just squeeze out a few mm of this antiseptic all over their hands before handling each patient.
* I wonder if there is any deep-rooted psychological associations between the pattern on a doctor’s tie and the patient’s subsequent prognosis.
Open-shirted physician
http://www.moh.govt...sf/indexmh/about-et
No sign of a tie even in the Ministry's own web-site. [methinksnot, Dec 17 2006]
[link]
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Spotted this baker at the first missing capitalisation. |
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//universally filthy// not quite some of *ahem* them use tie pins and dry clean their ties. |
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//reverential manner// Not so much the doctors. The reverential manner is reserved for the surgeons. Have you noticed how they prefer to be addressed as "Mr." rather than "Dr."? Humble chaps.
Perhaps dispense with the ties and hire a herald complete with brass. |
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//open shirted physician// See linky (scroll down a bit) for one of my favourite physicians: David Galler, he of the hawaiian shirt and board shorts. |
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//squeeze out a few mm// ml, shirley. |
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I measure my toothpaste in length. |
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the tradition for calling surgeons 'Mr', I believe stems from the time when you did not need a medical degree to perform an operation; leaving such crude butchery to people like the barber. |
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it could be an urban myth but I do like to believe the story that a vet can treat a person but a doctor cannot treat animals (probably because livestock is valuable). |
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That explains the cone I got around my neck after the "doctor" removed that lump... |
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Disposable ties! Now there's a good idea. I dispose of mine whenever possible. It's a rather insensible thing to do, wearing a long band of cloth tied as tightly as possible around the neck, with loose ends made to hang down just above my beltline. Whenever possible, the practice should be made more sensible with the use of tie tacks or clips. |
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I must insist I've never seen a doctor with his tie outside of his white coat. This also is a good idea. The white coat shows blood and other unsightly stains quite well, and the tie remains hidden behind it, where it will not fall out anywhere. A plastic cover would be all that is needed to keep the tie surgically separated from the patient. |
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Or, we could do away with the tie altogether, and use plastic collars, such as those worn by clergy. |
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Here in the UK, if you take health and safety law to the letter, doctors who are actually treating (as opposed to just consulting) are not allowed to wear a tie as it is a health and safety risk to both them and their patients. |
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In the same way, nurses are not allowed to wear jewlery and must have their hair tied back. |
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//it could be an urban myth but I do like to believe the story that a vet can treat a person but a doctor cannot treat animals (probably because livestock is valuable).//
Not an urban myth. My ex-brother-in-law was treated by a vet after a mishap with a chain-saw. (Oh, how we laughed!) Said vet confirmed that he had studied the anatomies of several species, whereas GPs have only studied one. He didn't say which species he relied on to treat Nigel. |
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This idea gave me an idea. Ihave posted a spinoff from this , the "Anti-necktie superbug". |
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Thanks for the inspiration Po. |
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