"Time! Stocks!! Lasers!!!"

Hate wearing a watch? Hate the incessant Alfred Hitchcock-esque ticking of mechanical clocks? Then open your wallets and get out your wire crimpers for the FortCo Patented In-Home Laser-Projected Alpha-Numeric Variable-Input Update System! That's right! For a nominal, government-backed fee you too can check the time, your stock portfolio, current news headlines or even random integers to impress your friends or better your life!

Infrared sensors strategically located as to detect exactly which room you are in, complimented by small microphones to detect voice patterns and point-of-origin cater to your every informational request. Simply shout "TIME!" to have the current time displayed for a few brief moments on your pre-selected wall, ceiling, shower curtain of choice! Paired to respond to pre-programmed commands, small laser projectors cast requested information on whichever surface you prefer!

Having a hard time getting started in the mornings? Simply shout "TIME" when lying in bed and have the current time spat on to the ceiling. In the shower and care to know just how bad you're stocks are falling? Shout "STOCKS!" when in the shower and get a convenient, futuristic update of your portfolio!

Using RSS feeds, user-input data sources and a quartz-timed time estimator have all of your vital info, impress your pals and utterly baffle your cat. Remember: if you kinda need to know; choose FortCo!