h a l f b a k e r yGuitar Hero: 4'33"
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For some bizarre reason we catch vast quantities of fish
(and marrowbones, whatever they are) as well as process
various cereal crop by-products, can them and feed them
to our pets. Ridiculous!
Cats don't go fishing and dogs rarely ever attack and eat
fresh corn or brewer's rice.
UBCo
is soon to release a new line of "nutritionally
balanced" pet food products... Small birds and rodents,
maybe some small reptiles and frogs for your feline
friends; Chickens, rabbits, rats and some creatures that
look suspiciously like surplus felines collected from around
[8th of 7]'s stables, for the dogs.
We pop them into cans at the point of sale; you take the
can home and pull the ring-tab, releasing your beloved
child-surrogate's next meal, for it to chase, kill and
consume.
Get your furry friend back in touch with its wild side.
Cat Fishing
http://www.jackies-...ern-rose-1261-p.asp
Uh huh [skinflaps, Apr 30 2012]
[link]
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I wonder if there's a market for truly high end pet
food. Feed your malamute elk and caribou meat from
Alaska. Only the freshest of gazelle meat from the
Serengeti for Tommy! |
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You can bet your bottom dollar that market exists
and is being exploited at this very moment, [tc].
Pampering pets is big business, and growing. |
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However the market also knows that the majority of pet-lovers prefer to save a few pence by feeding the object of their adoration and obsession with mechanically recovered slaughterhouse slurry stiffened with cheap cereal dust. |
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Depending on the breed, constituents would vary between"
Carpet fluff, golf balls and shoelaces" (for Black or Chocolate
Labradors) to "The same thing the humans are having, RIGHT
NOW! " for Lhasa Apsos and Shih Tzu… |
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On the plus side, the variant for bull terriers could be made from
coarsely chopped chihuahuas, these clearly being a species of
rrodent rather than a dog. In fact, why bother to chop them…? |
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'Gourmet' dog and cat foods made from farmed bison,
caribou, rabbit, venison, etc. are flooding the market right
now. In the winter when out-of-staters come up to ski and
boards their dogs with us, our larder is stock with leftover
'natural diet' dog foods. How people can spend $50 on a
bag of dog food and then leave half of it at a boarding
kennel is beyond me, but our dogs don't complain, except
when dinner is late. |
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Judging from between-meals snacking, the 'natural diet' of
an American Pit Bull Terrier consists of frogs, grasshoppers,
roadkill, used tissues and Q-tips, and mysterious crunchy
things found under rocks and sofas. |
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My dog ( English Staffordshire Bull Terrier) is seriously
addicted to apples... especially Pink Lady apples. |
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He was stealing them from the fruitbowl in the
kitchen, until we figured out that it wasn't the kids
going through 4 or 5 of them each day. |
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Heh-heh... them bully-breeds is clever. |
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Our 'American Staffordshires' (pit bulls) love apples as
well,
and Pink Ladies are our household's apple of choice.
Whenever they hear one being eaten or sliced they come
a-runnin' and dance around waiting for their share of the
core. Like many dogs, they also love carrots; I think it's the
crunchiness. |
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Too many apples can give a dog the runs; lots of dogs love
grapes, and it's amusing to watch them chase one around
the floor, but they contain low levels of a substance that is
toxic to canines. Raisins are very bad for dogs. |
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Yes, it's a good idea to strip the seeds out of an
apple core before you hand it to your dog. They
contain trace amounts of cyanide. |
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The other thing he loves is pickled cucumber. As
soon as the pickle jar is opened he's there, looking
very expectant and attentive. |
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Don't add no damn raisins. Raisins=death to dog.
Otherwise a nice idea for the little poochies in your
life. |
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Ah, the hilarity of giving a cat a lump of old-
fashioned home-made treacle toffee… the
best bit is that having spent several hours
going cross-eyed chomping on it, they don't
learn, and will eagerly take another piece… |
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Despite your oft-expressed hatred of cats, [8th], I
often envision you sitting at a massive, polished oak
table, in a high-backed Chesterfield-style black
leather swivel chair, while you watch a vast banks of
video screens of warzones around the world,
carefully stroking your beautifully manicured pussy. |
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Are we talking a white E. S. Blofeld-style cat, or the
entirely different variety of //beautifully manicured
pussy//? |
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Oh, there's *another* type? |
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<wonders which eye the Borg wear their monacles on> |
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sp: monocle... though I'm happy to see some Borg in
manacles. |
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Which eye? The brown one. |
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As I have said before, it's my suspicion that [8th of 7] is a slightly ditzy old lady living alone in a cottage on the edge of the Cotswolds with 10 cats. |
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I can verify with 100% certainty that this is not the case,
no matter much I wish it were. |
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"Real" Cat and Dog Food is baked in Southeast Asia,
usually with noodles. |
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(Thus endeth the wilful misinterpretation) |
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//baked//? Stirfried, surely? |
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