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Every now and again, you hear the phrase: "it's not the
heat, it's the humidity" and you think,"really, I mean..
it's
pretty hot in it's own right". This sort of thing can drag
on
for months if not years leading to vexation and regret.
The
reason why is that humans aren't very good at such
things.
We're not thermometers, and so have no real handle on
absolute temperature, frankly, not all of us can even
decide upon a sensible scale *ahem.... Fahrenheit*
Now, humidity is even trickier, the amount of water that
will happily hang around in the air is very much
dependent
upon the temperature, worse still, the way humans
prefer
to lose heat is based upon trying to force MORE water
into
that same air. So, out perception is all multifactorial and
non-linear. Which leaves humanity without a chance,
hence stupid sayings.
My solution is to build two HUGE towers, like large
residential tower blocks, not too tall, but big. Squarish,
you might say. These tower blocks will face one another.
One will contain a HUGE quantity of industrial
humidifiers.
Capable of producing a rather intimidating amount of
humidity. Opposite, in both orientation and function will
be the tower opposite. This will contain a HUGE quantity
of
industrial DE-humidifiers which will be capable of
removing
a very reassuring amount of humidity.
Now, between the two we should have a rather splendid
standing gradient of humidity, there might be some
tweaking required with airflow to assure some
semblance
of linearity.
Right, so, when that little "it's not the heat it's the
humidity" phrase happens, you'll be able to drag the
ruffian
down to the enormous calibration plaza... you may drag
them into the 100% dry end and say "even with no
humidity
it's roasting, you clot". Conversely, they might be able to
drag you to the other end and say "see!? makes a
difference you sweaty knave". At various points there
will
be sign posts indicating the humidity at that point. I'd
recommend every 5% or so.
There will be at least two fringe benefits: 1. if a smart
phone manufacturer decides to include a humidity
sensor,
then you could take it here for calibration. 2. If you're on
a
promising second date you can work out if the young lady
in question has genuinely straight hair. The extra 30
mins
a day really adds up.
[link]
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Well, as moist-skinned beasts, we actually perceive the wet-bulb temperature, not the dry-bulb, (within certain limitations). So the saying is pretty apt. At 40 degrees centigrade, and 90+ percent humidity, you're pretty stuffed just breathing. Whereas so long as I'm hydrated, I can work in 45+ degrees,low humidity air for long periods. |
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Why not just report wet-bulb temperatures instead? Some workplace health and safety regs are written around wet-bulb temperatures for tolerable work conditions, for instance. |
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So, now we need the wet- and dry-bulb maximum
and minimum temperatures, in Fahrenheit and
Centigrade. |
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(Our hero is chained to a deep-sea hydrothermal
vent, his naked skin directly exposed to the
crushing weight of the entire Pacific ocean.) |
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"Hot enough for you, Mr Bond?" |
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"Actually, it's not the heat, it's the humidity." |
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//Every now and again, you hear the phrase: "it's not the heat, it's the humidity"//
In the midwest, in the summer time, you hear that every other phrase to come out of someone's mouth. Soooo I'd like to know...is it the heat or the humidity for sure, so I could answer the person spot on, and appear very smart indeed. |
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are people in the mid west currently saying "it's not
the cold it's the complete lack of humidity"? 'cause if
they want to be logically consistent... |
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pointless bloody weather "news". You can figure out if your car is going to start, or what the snow/ice is going to be like by knowing the straight temperature; windspeed is handy if you're going to be outside any longer than it takes to find the car, but "windchill factor" is only good for boasting to people who don't know any better, and there's always somebody from a couple provinces over who can legitimately snicker and say "you call that cold ?" (which remark is then immediately overtrumped by somebody from Churchill claiming they've moved to the Kelvin scale for convenience). |
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Personally, I want all temperatures reported in time
to lethality for a normally dressed human. How long
until hypo- or hyper-thermia kills you if you go out
into it in jeans and a t-shirt. |
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(I'll accept, for both, the time until it disables you to
the point where you will not be able to recover
under your own power, eliminating any quibbles
about the whole "they're not dead until they're warm
and dead" hypothermia issue.) |
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//all temperatures reported in time to lethality for a
normally dressed human// |
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The ethics people are going to put a huge downer on
what would otherwise be a wonderful series of very
useful experiments to establish such values. |
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//time to lethality for a normally dressed human// |
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would really depend on if that human were, per se, a Minnesotan visiting Arizona or a Floridian in International Falls. |
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If all this works out, can there also be "It's not you,
it's me" calibration towers? |
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Like a pass-fail personality test? |
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