"Coronavirus: The Musical"

A jolly Rogers-and-Hammerstein style romp for all the family, having a cast of millions, featuring a whole raft* of memorable sing-along numbers such as Pink Floyd belting out "We don't need no vaccination ..." and The Police reprising "Every breath you take", a socially-distanced chorus singing "You'll always walk alone", "No way to stop it" and "My defences are down".

<Placeholder for other memorable sing-along numbers we haven't thought up yet, because we wanted to post this idea before anyone else did/>

Intended to be in even worse taste than "Springtime for Hitler". No depth will be left unplumbed in an attempt to make cruel, insensitive humour predicated on the sufferings of others.

All the performers wear surgical masks, which will save a fortune on makeup; everyone under 65 is prancing about quite happily, as they're all perfectly fit and well. In the background are beds with old folks on ventilators, and stacks of coffins.

A contrived, clumsy, unfunny and ultimately completely unsuccessful attempt will be made to introduce Jim Carry's character from "The Mask".

We reserve the right to plagiarise other bakers' annotations if they come up with good titles for songs, and post them here.

Any mention of "His Dark Archers" or " ... on Ice" will be dealt with by immediate violent, painful summary execution, followed by a fair trial under a rigorous legal process with the opportunity for the accused to defend themselves and present evidence.

This is not a call-for-list.

*The safest place to be; a raft, out at sea, with no-one else around. But you'll probably have to come back to land eventually ...