h a l f b a k e r yMake mine a double.
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It has become apparent to me that people generally become self-absorbed morons when travelling on public transport. Once they are on the bus/train themselves they just stand there in the entranceway and don't care a bean for those poor souls who are still trying to get on behind them.
By creating a
zone of uncomfortability in these areas, passengers would be subconsciously encouraged to move out of the way. It could also be used in other areas that need to be kept clear of loiterers.
The uncomfortableness could be created in a myriad of ways depending on the cultural background and budget of transport authority.
Sound - High-pitched highly directional beam of sound, monotonous drone etc.
Smell - Fear, BO, Halotosis etc.
Vision - Badly designed colour schemes, slaughterhouse photo's, giant pair of predators eyes etc.
Other- Draughty, worryingly damp, Bad Feng Shui etc.
Alternatively old mad 'characters' that smell of wee, shout obscenities and usually inhabit every city could be gainfully employed to stand at in-built 'guardposts' at such areas.
Thoroughfare Throughway Throttle Thwarter
http://www.halfbake...Throttle_20Thwarter
quite similar; must be a Swedish problem [FarmerJohn, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]
[link]
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I say "Excuse me, is your invisible friend or enemy blocking you?" |
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Dress in combats, ruffle your hair, don't shave, and carry a mysterious long package. Make a point of holding eye contact as long as you can, practice not blinking. Hey Presto ! Personal space. |
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Unfortunately I am apparently congenitally unable to look mean.
When I try to, people either offer concern, or just snigger. |
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Standing moderately close and looking very hard at them right between the eyes is even more effective. |
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If people are blocking the entranceway, lay down sheets of teflon. <I’m picturing here a blur of foot and leg motion.> Then combine that with an ordinance against public dancing. |
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Rods: or a sphere of piss influence, depending how you look at it. |
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Or a large bible and missionary zeal. |
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A zone of mild microwave radiation near the doors should do it. |
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...or X-rays. And that could be made to do double duty as a weapons detector. |
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Step on their toes until they apologize. |
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"Anybody have any beanos?" |
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Dry heaves at the same time might clear even more space.
If it's one of those zealots in the missionary position, you might say "Say, is that a righteous lump in your pocket, or are you glad to see me?" |
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I have found that becouse of my hight (6'4") people tend to get out of my way... |
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In fast food places the decor is red 'cos it makes us wanna leave quick (fact), instead of lighting up a ciggy and discussing vegetarianism. Blue/green tones are relaxing and make you stay. |
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just have w8tvi stand in the zone. Some kind of cloning technology might need to be introduced eventually |
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Make the entrance a slope that is uncomfortable to stand on. |
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