h a l f b a k e r yGuitar Hero: 4'33"
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You may be familiar with zip ties. They have many uses (including restraining kidnapped British backpackers) but round my way, they're used almost exclusively for attaching club night fly-posters to lampposts and railings. When the Council clean up lads come round, they rip off the posters and leave
the ties, which (after a while) results in a malproportioned rickety signpost effect. They don't serve much purpose like this.
But if the ties were, at point of manufacture, coated in flavours that dogs like (cat, dog's arse, meat etc.) then it would be a simple matter to slide them down the pole to dog mouth level where the dogs, attracted by the delicious smell (fish, cake, creosote etc.) could chew. The chewing would help their teeth stay clean and strong.
Disclaimer #1: I have never had a pet, so I may be wrong. Dogs do like creosote don't they?
Disclaimer #2: Bearing in mind that these ties are not edible, can suggest a better category?
Dislcaimer #3: It appears that 'malproportioned' is not a word. I don't care, I've used it anyway.
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Dislcaimer #4: It appears that 'Dislcaimer' is not a word either. |
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Disclaimer #5: I'm sorry about my secretary... she's from Barcelona. |
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wouldn't they need to be made out of something dogs can eat? eating plastic can't be good for them at all. Go to the source and get the clean up lads a pair of wire cutters to remove the ties. |
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You know, this might just work. If they were made of some reasonably harmless material and then coated in flavours that dogs like then they wouldn't last 5 minutes. Result! |
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Of course you'd need to differentiate - the ones found higher up the lamppost would need to be coated in flavours that giraffes like. Or maybe students. |
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Biltong zip ties? could work, on the other hand you might find a pack of dogs playing hell with your electrical or network cable installation.
I like the idea of dogs providing a clean up service rather than the other way round, how about an aniseed spray for dog turds? |
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Aaaaah. Again, I see the problems with having a mere 2 second delay between having an idea and writing it up. The point is that these ties are not edible, just that they taste nice. The dogs merely chew. They don't eat them because eating plastic isn't good for anyone. So you still need to give stanley knives to the Council workers. |
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That said, it might be better if the ties were made out of something edible. I shall have a rethink. |
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Make the ties out of chicken gristle. |
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Can't you just staple your posters and kidnapped backpackers to telephone poles instead? |
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So the point is not to get rid of the tie things by encouraging dogs to eat them, but merely to provide assistance to our canine friends, as they strive to maintain an adequate level of oral hygiene? |
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You still get to keep my croissant, though. |
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I thought you were going to propose zip ties with attached dog chews. Then, when people walk their dogs to the grocery store, they could zip a chew to a nearby pole and not worry about their tied up dogs menacing the public because the dogs would be chewing instead of impatiently waiting. |
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I've ate my share of plastic, by the by. |
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Look at this stellar idea, moldering in back room for years. It is a fine scheme. But take it one step further: the entire apparatus, poster and all is coated with said smell, and dogs dispose of the entire package by chewing it loose and consuming it. The inedibility of this product does not equate to impassability, and will harness the enthusiasm of dog owners to bag and throw out what their dogs do. |
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