h a l f b a k e r yIt's as much a hovercraft as a pancake is a waffle.
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Someone to hear your prayers, someone who cares.
Feeling unknown and you're all alone, flesh and bone, sitting in bed, not really wanting to get up. Suddenly the alaram rings. Not with an annoying "breet" sound, but with a fanfare of trumpets and an angelic chorus. It's Your Own Pesonal Jesus, waking
you up with a personalized scripture or parable of your own choice to inspire you as you start the day.
Reach out and touch faith to put it on snooze.
Also available: Rise and Shine Buddha, Sleepy Confucius, The Bed-Head's Bhagavad Gita, Yawnin' Yahweh, and Good Morning Odin, all of which you can bagsy to your heart's content.
Personal Jesus Lyrics
http://www.cowboyly...nal-jesus-2246.html
Inspiration, move me brightly. [notmarkflynn, May 12 2006]
Non-Alarm Clock Version
Remote_20Controlled_20Jesus
by [fridge duck]. [hidden truths, May 12 2006]
And Jesus said: "Rise up my son."
http://www.mcphee.com/items/M6067.html
Charles Barkley's nemesis. [Letsbuildafort, May 12 2006]
Other badass religion-ish novelties.
http://www.mcphee.c...ories/religion.html
[Mcphee.com] [Letsbuildafort, May 12 2006]
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<nemesis>Bleugh! Horrible! Only the depraved and coprocephalic mind of such a terrible being could come up with such a vile idea. It is not worthy of my comment.</nemesis> |
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If Jesus wanted you to wake up this way, He would be doing it Himself. Damn your alarm clock. |
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The Idea sounds ok, but you shouldn't compare it to the real Jesus himself... |
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I actually bought the Jesus action figure for my friend Pat about two years ago. |
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Yes, but what would Jesus do? |
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He'd probably hit snooze a couple of times like the rest of us. |
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This needs a pre-set, wake me for the rapture, horns of Jericho type mode. |
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You didn't mention if it glowed in the dark. |
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It does, for it is the truest of lights. |
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Do the eyes follow you when you go to the bathroom? |
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I like it. The scripture reading ought to be random, or calendrical, so that you are greeted with a new one each morning. The brainpower involved in digesting the day's reading would help you awake, and put you in a suitably spiritual frame of mind to begin your day. If you believe in that sort of thing. |
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//Only the depraved and coprocephalic mind //
Nothing to with me, mate. |
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Yawnin' Yahweh, for God's sake. |
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Would the agnostic version leave you not knowing if you were awake or not? |
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