h a l f b a k e r yMay contain nuts.
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Okay, the pack would contain the following.
1. An Evil Mother. It is commonly known that most mothers are evil so any'll do!
2. Wake up tools including: A glass of water, feather Duster, Fog Horn and a Cattle Prod.
How it works.
Basically you get the Evil Mother out of the box and tell
her where your bedroom is. She waits outside in the landing most of the time.
She knows what time you should get up (most probably very early) and tells you. If you're not up by this time she comes in and uses one of her tools.
(My mum tends to use the Glass of water on me with devastating effects.)
So, any other suggestions for Evil Mother tools mabye?
Yours,
Infamous Orange
[link]
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A wet flannel is far worse than the glass of water. Pulling open the curtains to let the sun in is another bad one. But the worst, strangely, is one of my dad's, which is to rap softly but persistantly for however long it takes you to get up. |
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I couldn't get past the caddle prod. Lordie -- my Mother
was NEVER that evil. Although, I don't know, if she had
one, she might have used it a few times.... |
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I USED TO WHIP OFF ALL THE BLANKETS - that was fun. |
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I dunno, I think I could sleep through that... |
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My sister was a very sound sleeper but she could never sleep through a drible of ice water in the ear! |
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I thought this was going to be something to do with the Velvet Underground (a lyric from "Sweet Jane") |
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