Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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It might be better to just get another gerbil.

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Your New Born Baby as a Happy Bluebottle

Novelty wear for your precious sibling
  (+17, -2)(+17, -2)
(+17, -2)
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Being with a special friend recently, who now has a new baby, made me realise that babies spend a lot of time on their backs, waving their arms and legs in the air. This attracts much admiration and saccharin coated comments from well meaning strangers.

I have designed a new outfit that takes full advantage of the opportunities afforded by this situation. It takes the form of a realistic Bluebottle costume, complete with folded gossamer wings, and six legs.

Baby is happily zipped into the new guise, her shining face now smiling out below the twin complex eyes of the fly. Her arms and legs are inside four of the fly's limbs, with the other two waving about randomly. Her nappy becomes the dark, segmented abdomen. The transformation is complete. She now looks like A Happy Bluebottle.

Breast feeding and nappy changes take on a new dimension especially in poorly illuminated, public places.

xenzag, Aug 11 2007

Also available in Adult Size http://www.charlesu...com/gould1large.jpg
...must be sweaty to wear though. [xenzag, Aug 11 2007]

Now in Green http://www.agrophar...images/pests/52.jpg
for the environmentally aware [xenzag, Aug 11 2007]

Skinflaps Nursery http://en.wikipedia...sanatense_4182..jpg
These are bees, but they are just as happy [xenzag, Aug 13 2007]

[link]






       this might prove to be one of the great sociological experiments of all time; how will people respond to a truly not cute baby.
jhomrighaus, Aug 11 2007
  

       Could there be a leech version for breastfeeding?
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 11 2007
  

       //Who's the father; Jeff Goldblum?// Al Hedison, shirley?
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 12 2007
  

       I'm going to give this a +, for the sheer wackiness, and the more I think about it, the more wacky it gets.   

       Truly absurd.
Ling, Aug 13 2007
  

       Thank you [ling] - I should have added that the "insect's segmented abdomen" nappy range is a now under consideration by "Pampers" for full scale production.
xenzag, Aug 13 2007
  

       You could line the walls of the nursery with flypaper. Simply attach the baby to a section of the wall if you need to pick up a rattle or something.
skinflaps, Aug 13 2007
  

       gurgle,gurgle...baby likes
100 percent, Aug 14 2007
  

       I've now realised what this idea reminds me of - it's a short story by Roald Dahl in which a baby, fed on Royal Jelly (the stuff bees feed the queen bee with), turns into a bee.
hippo, Aug 15 2007
  

       As creepy as Kafka's Metamorphosis?   

       (off track) I have a dead blue bottle, legs up, on my dash board and I haven't taken the bother to remove it. it keeps me in mind of this idea every time I drive and I'm getting rather sick of it. *sigh* Guess it's time to get the bug sucker out...
k_sra, Aug 15 2007
  
      
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