h a l f b a k e r yBunned. James Bunned.
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4-point restraints for babies so you can answer the phone while the baby is on the changing table and keep the baby from falling off.
Problem Solved
http://www.halfbake...Inflatable_20Carpet [egbert, Oct 04 2004]
[link]
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dreadful idea but it made me giggle. I cannot bring myself to vote for it though. |
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What's wrong with duck tape? |
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Where do you plug them into the mains ? |
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// What's wrong with duck tape? // |
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Perfectly sensible even when not answering the phone, I would have thought. They don't have to be made of hard, cold iron with rough edges (though they *could* be, for [8th]). |
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Definitely. The other 2 restraint points can be supplied by DrJekyll. |
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Anyway, you're supposed to change a baby's diapers (nappies) using a changing mat on the floor. |
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...and Duck tape is for those quacky things floating on ponds, BTW. |
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Babies are so smooth and hairless...why wouldn't a single suction cup do the trick? |
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From the Michael Jackson school of childcare. A sink plunger with a cup at both ends. Step 1) Stick baby onto plunger Step 2) Stick plunger onto wall or other convenient surface. |
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// other convenient surface // |
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Ceiling, over piranha tank ? |
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Seems to me that leg restraints would seriously interfere with changing the diapers. |
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My baby's diapers are often changed on a trough-shaped foam pad covered with plastic. The trough kept her from rolling off the table when she was very young. Now we have to use a "seatbelt" that can be fastened across the top of the trough. It doesn't hinder her the way leg and arm restraints would, but it does keep her on the pad. |
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Of course, you don't _have_ to answer the phone. Would you let anything else interrupt such an important task? |
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// their bones are very fragile // |
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I dispute this. Human babies are extrmely tough. They can survive falls and impacts that would cripple or kill adults (mainly due to their low mass, and the relative flexibility of their skeleton). |
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Babies have been recovered - alive and in relatively good condition - from earthquake-shattered bulidings in Mexico and Turkey (to name but two) after many days of being entombed in rubble. They can also survive being dropped by their mother from waist height onto a hard surface. This is an evolutionary adaptation. |
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bouncing babies onto hard floor is not recommended and no cheap jibes about [8th]'s parents from me. |
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It's OK, [po], you don't need to go out and pay for expensive jibes just to please me. And I didn't recommend it; I just pointed out that it's survivable. [bliss] is probably right about the dislocations. |
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I can't actually recall being systematically dropped on my head by my parents, but that's not too surprising (That which does not destroy us makes us stronger). At least it stopped me getting a pointed head. |
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I am curious as to why [status thimble] is curious about my passports. |
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The seatbelt idea [beauxeault] seems like it would work. At the risk of the rath of the breeders in the group, doesn't the system also need a gag or silencer so you can actually here the phone over the screaming? |
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Over here, or over there? |
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[rbl], design one and the world will beat a path to your door. |
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Now we all wait eagerly to see if [FarmerJohn] will come up with a new design for a self-propelled ride-on path-beating machine....... |
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I designed a "silencer" once (see the hb idea, "Baby Helmet"), but not too many people beat a path to my door. |
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Oops, sorry - thought this was an idea for prison newbies. |
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additional application. well done wax. |
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put nappies on them for the humiliation factor. |
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