h a l f b a k e r yWhy on earth would you want that many gazelles anyway?
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Wright Flyer Air Race
Race pilots can paint them however you want, but all entries must be exact duplicates of the original Wright Flyer. | |
Everybody knows the best part of a race is the crashes,
so
here's one guaranteed to deliver.
Although Wright Flyer heralded the age of (sort of)
controlled,
powered
flight, it
was basically a barely steerable hunk of junk. You see six
or so of these things on the runway winding up their
little sewing machine engines you know you're gonna see
a show. A very slow moving disaster for all to enjoy.
The announcer of the race might relay something like
this.
"AAaaaaand they're off! "Skybrick" crashes immediately
and
the crowd goes wild! "Sticks and Paper" rolled into "The
Wrong
Flyer" and "Whoops I'm Dead" hit the first pylon and burst
into
flames. Luckily these hunks of junk only hold about half
a
pint of
gas so just roll the pilot around, he'll be OK."
And since these things move so slow, a significant
number of the pilots could theoretically survive, and I
don't necessarily
have a problem with that.
American Airlines Flight 587
https://en.wikipedi...Airlines_Flight_587
" aggressive use of the rudder controls by the first officer stressed the vertical stabilizer until it snapped off the aircraft." Hah ! [8th of 7, Jul 17 2020]
[link]
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To be held on the Kill Devil hills at Kitty Hawk, of course ... [+] |
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// basically a barely steerable hunk of junk // |
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Airbus Industrie hold the IP on that, now. Carbon fibre empennage, anyone ? Yes, it has rudder pedals, but you mustn't use them, otherwise the fin breaks off ... |
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"A good landing is one you can walk away from - a great landing is one where you can use the aircraft again." |
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A good pilot is one with the same number of landings in his logbook as takeoffs. |
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Guess that makes me a good pilot. |
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Although I stopped flying when my life insurance
agent told me private plane crashes where I was the
pilot weren't covered. Right before I signed the damn
thing too like "Oh.. by the way, you aren't I pilot are
you?" Well, not any more I guess. Evidently insurance scam
suicide by aircraft is a thing. |
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Will there be inspectors with pocket magnifying lenses, checking that the alignment of the weave matches properly? |
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"Oh ho, Here's a chancer! No.47 "slow & unsteady" has the weft fibres of the canvas wing coverings at 3.7° to the main stringer. Disqualified!" |
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Anonymous tip-off letter to the judges. "off-cuts of epoxy-impregnated timber found in the yard of team no.11..." |
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Team 11 presents detailed yard diaries showing that the off-cuts came from a reproduction 1887 steam launch. |
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However, the resulting front-page national press coverage of the scandal reduces team morale and causes major sponsors to withdraw. |
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That's actually a good point. The materials would be
everything in the win / loss department. |
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So the race committee would supply the materials that, if
not the exact same as those used for the original Wright
Flyer, at least would be the same across all the entrants. |
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Occurs to me, getting people to risk their lives for this
might be a little tricky, but much of the entertainment
could be had by simply having these be remotely
powered. Obviously a major upgrade from the original,
but so long as everybody used the same system, it would
come down to (remote) pilot skill and construction
prowess. |
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It was most fortuitous that the original flight occurred
right next to Arlington National Cemetery, the final
resting place of LT Selfridge.* The race location might be
chosen utilizing similar criteria. |
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*After the crash, anyway. |
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^ we will vote for that ... |
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// getting people to risk their lives for this might be a little tricky // |
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Eh ? You will have to beat them off with a stick. A really big stick, with a nail through it. Best have some friends around you - they will need big sticks too. Have you seen the waiting lists to fly in WW1 warbirds and other antique aircraft ? Have you seen what they charge ? And people pay it without a murmur. Some build their own Bleriot monoplanes; some build Fokker Dr. III triplanes; some restore airframes that are literally no more than a few matchsticks in a box. |
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While pilots are notably risk-averse personalities, offer most of them the chance to pilot a real or reproduction historic plane, while pointing out that "your chances of coming back alive and uninjured are no better than 50/50" and you'll need amazingly precise timing equipment to measure the delay before they sprint across the apron to the cockpit. |
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Normally rational airmen who wouldn't risk their skins in a modern microlight or ultralight or autogyro or (gods forbid) a helicopter go all gooey-eyed and dribbly at the smell of dope, gasoline and castor oil ... |
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Before launching your competition, warn the Smithsonian. They will need to up their security, substantially, lest they suddenly find an exhibit inexplicably missing, just after a large number of seemingly innocent visitors scuttle out of the building with furtive expressions and suspiciously bulging pockets. |
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Based on direct real-world data from a Scaled Composites product, removing even a single unimportant bolt - just one tiny bolt from the instrument panel, there were plenty more holding it on, it was loose, it just fell out and somehow dropped into a shirt pocket, poor maintenance you know - can produce a remarkable and uncalled-for rant. Sadly "But I only wanted a little bit as a souvenir" cuts no ice with such humourless sods. And you have to give it back, and apologize. Bastards. |
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That's shameful [8th]. I would think someone of your caliber would have been able to smuggle it out without a problem. |
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