The All-Fools Tour of England

A Tour de France-like event, held throughout the mad month of March, with contestants racing to be the first to complete a course that runs from Liverpool to Dover (a sort of anti Tees-Exe line*), with a small cash prize for the winner – possibly donated by an appropriate newspaper, The Sunday Sport or The News of the World or somesuch. Not much originality here, though is there? Therefore this would just be the prelude to the final leg of the event, held on the 1st of April, a race across the Channel from Dover to France with the first person to complete the crossing gaining a somewhat larger cash prize. Great eh? What’s that you say? Still not original enough? Did I forget to mention that this is all to be done on Space Hoppers?

*The Tees-Exe line is a geographical dividing line running from the River Tees in the north-east to the River Exe in the south west. It marks the southern limit of the ice sheet advance during the ice-ages.