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Apart from the depressing content, the main reason I don't
watch the TV news is the anchorpeople. Most of these
sleek,
suave nonentities have all the personality of a sack of
sawdust
and many annoying features. Those little insincere smirks
that
follow the gory details of the latest earthquake
or suicide
bombing really set my teeth on edge.
Therefore I propose dressing the offending newspeople in
character
costumes. This would cover those smirks and force
them to be more original in their oration. I envisage news
readers dressed up as Wombles (see links) but any not too
famous characters would suffice. Just imagine the
possibilities...
..."This is George Jetson reporting for CNN"...
Having said this - any station dressing their anchors as
Barney
or the Teletubbies should be firebombed.
Official Wombles site
http://www.wombles.tv/
For those who are unfamiliar with Wombles [madradish, Jul 17 2002, last modified Oct 17 2004]
Puppet News
http://www.halfbake.../idea/Puppet_20News
Similar idea that I didn't spy 'till after :) [madradish, Jul 17 2002, last modified Oct 17 2004]
Womble Lovers
http://womble.desig...m/womble_intro.html
Description of Wombles [madradish, Jul 17 2002, last modified Oct 17 2004]
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I'd like to see Darth Vader reading the news .... can you imagine him on Newsnight ? Hee hee hee |
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madradish: I am totally disgusted by your soft pinko liberal nancy-boy slap-them-on-the-wrist-and-let-them-go attitude to the stations using Teletubbies as announcers. Hanging, drawing and quartering, followed by burning at the stake (for a first offence) is the minimum to preserve public decency. |
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I wish to announce my disapproval of this anti-Teletubby ranting. |
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Now I know why a dear friend always says "_____ wombles into the room" when entering a room. |
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L!VE TV had the News Bunny to react to their news broadcasts. |
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Pah. I thought this would involve encasing wombles in concrete and throwing them out of ships. |
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<aside>The Rick Wakeman pastiche on the Wombles fourth album is priceless.</aside> |
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pottedstu: I must admit that your "littering the seabed with concrete-encased Wombles" idea has a certain delicious irony about it. |
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po: The Teletubbies are nothing more that the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse in disguise ..... and that bunke they live in is very sinister. I think we should put a large British flag on the top and just wait for the USAF to hit it by mistake. |
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I am more of an apologetic car-driver than one of those Revelations guys, bugsy |
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I don't think Jeremy Bowen (current BBC Breakfast News anchor) could be described as sleek or suave. Indeed, I have just heard him described as "a maggot in the rotting sheep carcass of humanity." |
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You been listening into my conversations calum? |
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Instead of dressing the said newsreaders in costume, you could ply them copious amounts of booze. |
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"Hellllllllo. Thith ith the newth....(hic).Today, some guy (hic). Wh? (hic) What are you lookin at?...." |
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ah, remembers Reggie Bosanquet fondly.... |
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"...and for today's sports news, over to Tiny Clanger" |
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Can't we generalize this to Anchor Personae (or Persona Anchors)? The news read by the persona of your choice (I think I'd go for Elmo reading the financial news and Elvis doing the weather). |
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I'd listen to the news...if it was Mr T. reading it. |
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And now time for the weather.. wait, sucka aint got no time for jibba jabba. It gunna be hot. |
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Jinbish: search Google for some clips of Bill Bonds (Ex Detroit Channel 7 anchor) drunk off his ass and on the job! |
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8th... and you were comparing UnaBubba to Dubya? |
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potted - nah, use the boring out of work news readers
for that instead. |
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Jinbish - combine the two, inebriated costumed
newsreaders could be interesting. You know something's
wrong when the pink panther starts drooling. |
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DrCurry - I could, but then it would lose the (intentional)
connotations pointed out by pottedstu |
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itv news at ten. with bagpuss. |
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As if by magic it's time for the weather with Mr Ben |
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You could have womble web services workshops |
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